11 Ways to Know if Both of You are Ready to Have a Baby!

Are you ready to start a family? Parenthood isn’t easy, but when you know you’re ready to have a baby, you just know! Find out using these 11 signs.

 

Deciding to start a family is probably one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life.

We ask ourselves so many questions. Will we be good parents? Can we afford it? How will our life change? These anxieties are completely normal and are to be expected. And, of course, your life will change!

You will both be in charge of another human being who will demand your attention, your time and your energy. For the first few months, it will be smelly nappies, bottles, sick and sleepless nights, but hey, that’s the fun part!

11 signs to know if both of you are ready to start a family

So how can you really tell if you’re both ready to be parents? Take a look at some of these clues and find out if it’s time for you to take a leap into the scary, rewarding, intense roller coaster ride known as parenthood.

#1 Both of you decide to get a pet

Seriously, this is one of the first indicators that you are ready to become responsible for another life. You already live together and enjoyed the first year *or years* of having sex in any room, throwing parties, buying nice things and now, these things no longer seem quite so important anymore, so you buy a pet.

It feels right to care for something else. It’s that old adage that we call ‘nesting.’ It is the first step to finding out what it means to care for another life and take responsibility. Provided your cat/hamster/goldfish/dog didn’t die of neglect *this could be a surefire sign you aren’t quite ready!* having a pet can be a good suggestion to know you’re ready to move on to the next step of becoming parents.

#2 You have both hinted at the idea to each other

If you have had a conversation that included the phrase ‘I wonder what it might be like to have a baby?’ and had a reply that went along the lines of ‘I don’t know, I’ve thought about it myself,’ you are both on the right tracks.

Perhaps, the conversation went something like this – ‘I would like to have children someday,’ and you had a ‘yeah, me as well’ back. Then it progressed to ‘When we are ready, of course,’ and the answer was ‘yeah, when we are ready.’

But the clincher here is the looks that might have taken place between the both of you. You felt that your other half was hinting at being ready and you wanted to say that you might also be ready. If you have both had a conversation or shared meaningful looks along these lines, it might be time for both of you to just come right out and say what you are really thinking.

#3 You start staring at pregnant women

Whether you are male or female, when our subconscious starts to think about parenthood, we become naturally drawn to the wonders of pregnancy and pregnant women. We start to imagine what it would be like to wait on tenterhooks for that precious cargo to arrive.

A woman might question how it feels to be pregnant, and a man might start to think what it would be like to have gotten their partner pregnant. If you feel your eyes drawn to pregnant women and thoughts fill your head about being pregnant, fathering a child, being parents and bouncing babies, then it might be Mother Nature trying to tell you something!

#4 Both of you enjoy spending time with children.

If the two of you enjoy spending time with your niece/nephew/young cousin/children, then this is the biggest clue that you might be ready to start your own family. Both of you enjoy spending time with children together. Children can really enhance our lives, and if you and your partner both enjoy having children around, taking them out as a couple and neither of you get too upset if you get covered in ice-cream or chocolate, then it means you might be ready to have your own kids.

Other things to bear in mind when you are around children is to take note if either of you freak out if something gets accidently broken. You are allowed to be annoyed, of course, but not have a breakdown if your niece decided to place a coin inside your Blu-ray player, for example, or she thought your cream carpet would look better covered in orange squash.

Being a parent means accepting that children don’t follow our rules at first until they are taught them, but if you are both laidback when children are around you or in your house, then this is a big thumbs up indicator that both of you might be ready to start a family.

#5 You have both stopped to look at babies in a pram when out together

Babies can make the most hardened of us go gooey when we see them. There is something about a gurgling, smiling baby who smells of baby powder looking at us with innocent eyes. But if you both want to look inside every pram you see when you are together, it could be your connection to each other that is telling you both that a baby is the next step.

However, if it’s only one of you who is cooing and your partner would rather stare at an ant on the floor than pull funny faces at a baby, this could indicate that now is not quite the right time for you both to start a family.

#6 You both actually enjoy quiet nights in

Okay, enjoying quiet nights in does not necessarily mean you should rush out and buy an ovulation kit tomorrow, but we do tend to get to a time in our lives when going out all the time is no longer so appealing. So if you are both happy to spend a Saturday night at home watching a movie, or just enjoying a bottle of wine together, you are on the right track. This can be an indicator that you now have different priorities in your lives and are ‘settling down.’

Having a baby will really impact on your social life. In fact, for the first few months your only social life consists of visits to the health clinic, parenting groups and briefly seeing your friends who pop in to tell you what great parties you are missing out on. However, if your Saturday nights are made up of partying and hangovers on a Sunday morning, you might not quite be ready to give all that up yet.

#7 You have both started saving

Normally, we try to save for a goal such as a new home, a wedding or a great holiday, but if you are both saving at the moment and don’t have an actual intention of spending the money on anything specific, it might be an indication that you are creating a ‘nest egg’ for your future family.

Kids cost a fortune, there is no doubt about it. From the Moses basket, to the cot and to the pram, it’s not cheap preparing for a new bundle of joy. So if you have found that you are both saving and have not really discussed exactly what you are saving for, perhaps you are both thinking of what might be around the corner and that could mean having a baby!

#8 You both have more patience than you did a few years ago

Patience. It’s something that we are not all blessed with naturally, and we have to work hard to develop patience. But are you both more patient than you were a few years back? Patience does seem to get easier with maturity and trust us, you will need patience in abundance if you decide to have a baby.

Your gurgling package will not care if you have to get up at 7am for work. If she wants to feed at 3am, then she will let you both know. Loudly. Having patience with a newborn *and all children* is a must and of course, you must have patience with each other. Mummy will be tired from looking after the baby all day and Daddy will be tired from working and not having much sleep *or vice versa, of course!* and so you will have to be patient with each other as well.

If you are both quite patient people, or you know you have become more patient over the last few years, you may both be ready to take that step into parenthood.

#9 You have already traded in your sporty car for a ‘saloon’

It’s amazing that your choice of car can be an indication if you are ready to become parents, but believe it or not, it is. As a couple, it doesn’t matter if you drive around in a sports car as passengers are not a consideration, but if you have recently bought a new car, or traded in an existing one, and you are now the proud owner of a family saloon, it might be a sign that you have both taken into account that you may have a child seat or two on the back seat in the very near future.

#10 You have both already taken ‘risks’

Right, we get it, we all take risks sometimes when having sex. Women can forget to take the pill or you both might get carried away and not bother using a condom in the heat of the moment.

But, if this has become a regular occurrence and not just a few one-offs, perhaps you are both telling each other that you don’t mind if a baby happens along? It could even be the case that you have both said ‘to hell with it’ after one of you has mentioned the lack of protection and the consequences, and if this has happened, it could be time for both of you to just come out and ask each other, ‘are we ready to have a baby?’

#11 You have had a few ‘false alarms’ together and felt disappointed

Everybody questions the ‘what if’ when we think something might be happening, and then find out it’s actually not. If you and your partner have had a false alarm when you believed you might have a baby on the way and then found out it was only a false alarm, how did you both feel? Were you both disappointed?

If yes, this is a really big signal that you are ready to start a family, especially if your first few feelings was excitement and joy. On the other hand, if you were both mortified and went out to the pub to celebrate when you found out it was a false alarm, this might be an indication that parenthood is not right for you just now.

So are you ready to have a baby?

If you both identify with a few of the pointers above, it could be that now is the right time for you to take that step and become parents. But deciding to become a parent doesn’t need to be that scary, as long as you are both open and honest with each other.

All new parents have doubts and worry about the future. Doubts are normal and parenthood is a personal decision that only couples can decide between themselves. Whatever you both decide together will be the right choice and there is no pressure to become parents until you both feel you are ready.

So if you think both of you are ready for a family, go for it, and if you’re still apprehensive, wait a while until the thought excites both of you. But until the time is right, relax and enjoy each other and every moment along the way!

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How to Start a Conversation with a Girl

How to talk to a girl for the first time, without making it look like you’re hitting on her? It’s easy to learn how to start a conversation with a girl as long as you know the basic steps. Find out here.

Before you figure how to start a conversation with a girl, click here to read the introduction on how to attract women because quite frankly, there’s just no great conversations without the spark of attraction!
How to start a conversation with a girl?

Many men have tried and tried really hard. And most of those men have failed miserably.
Starting a conversation with a girl is not really as hard as most men claim it to be.

It’s simple and can be a lot of fun if you really understand the basic ground rule. Women are not monsters. And men don’t really need to fear them.

Women like men just as much as men like women.

After all, in most normal circumstances, opposite sexes do attract each other. And it’s always flattering when someone of the opposite sex starts a conversation with you, isn’t it?

Do you ever wonder how to start a conversation with a girl?

What do you think about? A cool pick up line, or maybe a very confident walk up followed by some smooth talking? Well, it could work.

But in most cases, those moves fail. And they fail miserably.

Really then, how to start a conversation with a girl?

Here’s the simple part. Women are tired of being “picked up” all the time. If you’re talking about a gorgeous woman who’d have men trailing her all the time, she’d probably hate pick up lines and smooth talkers. Smooth talking is good, but it’s never a good way to start a conversation.

How would you start a conversation with a man? With a simple “hello” or a “hi”, right?
Think along the same lines when you talk to a girl. Don’t try to pick up a girl, try to start a conversation with a girl instead. And she’ll appreciate it.

When is it a good time to make a move?

One of the best ways to have a successful conversation with a girl, is by not surprising her all of a sudden. Many men make the mistake of walking straight up to a girl and saying something to her. In such cases, the girl may be so startled that she may instinctively turn you down without even getting a second to think about you as a person.

You wouldn’t want that, would you?

The sudden pick up may work now and then, but there are always safer and more easier methods if you want to know how to start a conversation with a woman.

Let her know you exist. Look at her now and then, warm her up to the act, and let her know that you intend to walk up and say hello to her, eventually.

That way, if she reciprocates your stares, she’s anticipating you and wondering when you’re going to walk up and say hello! This would actually build up the excitement and make her wait for you instead. See, this can actually work a lot better because you’re creating an interest before starting a conversation.

And because of that, this is one of the best ways to start a conversation with a girl.

Scenarios on starting a conversation with a girl

Now that you know the basic rules on how to start a conversation with a girl and how to warm her up even before talking, let’s take a look at a few common scenarios and strategies you can use when you may bump into a beautiful girl.

Conversation Strategy: Gentleman in distress

Even big, strong men like you would have their tough times, where you would have to play the “gentleman in distress” part. For instance, let’s assume you want to know how to start a conversation with a girl at the supermarket.

You’re at a supermarket  and you have no idea where to pick up all the ingredients to make a chicken stroganoff. What do you do now?

Scenario 1: Ditch that idea. What were you thinking anyways? Don’t you have pizzas and beer in the freezer?!!

Scenario 2: Start a conversation with a girl shopping in the store, and ask the pretty girl to help you out with your shopping.

I hope you picked Scenario 2. You know why, because the pizzas and the beer can’t get any worse. Your raging hormones on the other hand can.

Anyways, believe it or not, the shopping girl would love to help you shop, and she would also love to give you her secret recipe to make it taste even better. This is true unless she’s wearing a T-Shirt that says “My cooking sucks, but thankfully so do I”, in which case you’ve struck gold anyways.

You could even ask her to help you cook the meal and join you for lunch, and whatever that follows.
There’s always something that gives a girl a good feeling about a man who accepts that he is terrible in doing something and needs her help… maybe it’s his helplessness that draws her. Or maybe she’s just into male-bashing.

But in all cases, women love to mould men. So if you look helpless and lost, she’s want to help you even more.

The next time you go shopping for clothes alone, make it a point to ask the pretty maiden shopping by herself (if you ever find one shopping by herself!) if the shirt you just tried looks good on you. Be sincere and try not to look like a prick with a wide toothy grin when you ask her that.

Remember, you’re trying to start a conversation with a girl here. So be warm and absolutely genuine. Chances are she may even help you pick a nice tee for yourself (so what if it was a two grand designer sweatshirt at the end of the month). And you could always ask her out for a coffee so you can thank her for helping you.

How to start a conversation with a girl the nice way!

The world is full of opportunities to meet wonderful women, and start a beautiful relationship with them. It is said that opportunity knocks only once, but if you want to, you can find endless ways to create perfect opportunities for yourself.

The most important fact that you should understand is this. You would be most successful in meeting girls if you behave like “you”. Don’t try to pretend to be someone else, the girl would definitely know that you’re faking it, either in the very first minute or by the fifth, which does not help you in any way.

A girl is attracted to your personality more than anything else (a theory made by ugly men, which does seem true by the way). If you seem confident and charming and approach the woman in a very pleasant manner, she would be pleased to have met someone who has the courtesy to appreciate her company.

So, what are you waiting for, sugar? Go on… you know how to start a conversation with a girl, so go on and talk your way into that cute girl’s heart. But use these tips on how to talk to a girl to make the perfect impression.

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But we can’t do it without YOU!

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What to Wear to Bed With Your Boyfriend

Do you wonder what to wear to bed when you’re spending the night with your boyfriend? Knowing how to look good in bed with your boyfriend can be the easiest thing on earth if you know these girly seductive tips on what to wear to bed.

Firstly, you need to know how to sleep with him in a sexy way before you learn what to wear to bed to turn him on subtly.

Now that you know how to sleep with him, we’ll dive straight in into the sexiest styles of sleeping and the big question – what to wear to bed to impress and seduce him.

What to wear to bed *and what not!*

There are several ways to turn a guy on and look really sexy when you sleep with a man.

And you should always remember that looking sexy and attractive in bed doesn’t really have to be all about clothes and lingerie.

The girls at Lovepanky decided to ask around and put in a few of their own tips on what to wear to bed, and how to make a great impression even while simply lying down.

Here are some awesome and unique tried and tested what-to-wear-to-bed suggestions from a few sexy sleepers.

What to wear to bed #1

It depends on your guy. My guy loves it when I wear a fitting cotton tee and panties… if your man loves silk, then go for silk boy shorts and a corset, or spaghetti straps.
- Ashley, 25

What to wear to bed #2

Wear his tee shirt to bed. And nothing else!
- Gisele, 25

What to wear to bed #3 

Wear sexy lingerie to sleep, especially the lace ones. You’d look great just as long as your assets are hidden and yet, almost ready to slip out. That would drive him mad!
- Rachel, 22

How to look good in bed #1

Lie on your back with your head tilted slightly away from him. Bend one knee slightly so your curves would be accentuated. This looks best of you lie down naked.
- Hailey, 26

How to look good in bed #2

Place one arm behind your neck as you lie down, and stretch your body when he’s looking. This will elongate your body and make you look really feminine and curvy. And bend one knee slightly outwards so you can reveal your thighs to him. You better try this, it really works…
- Angie, 29

How to look good in bed #3

Make sure it’s dark when you’re sleeping. And use heavy drapes and curtains so you can block most of the morning sunlight. Have a shower before tucking in and use a bit of perfume. That way, he’d find it really hard to stop caressing you all over, all the time.
- Cynthia, 34

How to look good in bed #4

You’d look sexy as long as you feel sexy from the inside. But if you want more, then just slather your body with lotion to feel soft and supple. My man loves the way my skin feels. Opt for the scented lotions, they do the trick better.
- Laura, 33

Tips on what to wear to bed

If you want to look sexy each time you get up in the morning, remember a few key points.

#1 Mascara and eye liners don’t look the same in the morning.

#2 Lip stick marks can look disgusting on a white pillow, especially if you stain your pillow every morning.

#3 Elaborate starched night gowns look like crumpled rags in the morning.

#4 You’d have a new hairstyle in the morning, and the new one just won’t look as good as the one you had the earlier night.

Deciding what to wear to bed is the easy part. Understanding your strengths and the weak points in your physique and body is the confusing dilemma. Be confident and feel sexy from within, and your vibes and aura will do the rest in sleeping sexy and turning on your boyfriend.

Now that you know what to wear in bed and how to look good in bed with your boyfriend, go girl, go dazzle!

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But we can’t do it without YOU!

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6 Ultimate Reasons Never to Date a Friend’s Ex

He’s hot. He’s sexy. He turns you on high heat when he’s in the room. The crux is that he’s your friend’s ex boyfriend! Here’s why he’s off limits. 

 

The dating world is a mean one filled with jerks, losers, perverts and guys with tiny members. There is no denying that more and more men are living by the adage, “Hit ‘em then leave ‘em”.

Good guys can be pretty tough to come by and no one is faulting you for jumping on the first eligible guy who comes along.

But what if your dream guy is your friend’s ex?

The first thought that would probably run through your mind is an analysis of the dynamics of your relationship with this friend. Depending on how close you are to her, deciding whether to date her ex could swing either way.

If she is your good friend, then hell no, but if she is a mere acquaintance then there should not be any harm in doing so, right? Wrong. Dating a friend’s ex is a big no-no, even if you don’t know her too well.

The sacrilege is amplified even more if you are close friends. It doesn’t matter how long ago they dated. The statute of limitations does not run out on friendship. It also doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup.

Unless you friend’s ex is Ryan Gosling, there is no reason for you to go out with him. There is a whole world of men out there, at least a solid billion of them, so why the need to pursue anything with this particular guy?

Sure, you have to sift out the assholes and this may take time, but is the effort not worth it for everlasting peace of mind? Why saddle yourself up with emotional guilt and drama when you don’t have to? As handsome and funny and hot as he may be, keep in mind that the lust will eventually wear off and you will be stuck dealing with all the snide I-told-you-so’s from pretty much everyone around you.

The 6 in-depth reasons why you shouldn’t date your friend’s ex

Although there are a gazillion reasons why, here are the top 6 reasons why you should avoid dating your friend’s ex.

#1 Downright weird. Doesn’t it bother you that your friend literally had her tongue in his mouth? Doesn’t it bother you that this guy pleasured her the very same way he might pleasure you? Doesn’t it bother you that she was once lying naked on the very same bed that you may end up having sex on?

The icky factor is certainly a problem and even if you can deal with all of that, what about all the emotional stuff? Even if he tells you everything that ever went down in their relationship, you will never know what sort of emotional connection he had with your friend while they were together.
It’s true that every relationship is different so the things that you do with him may be different from the things that they did together in the past. But in knowing that he’s the same guy she was with, wouldn’t that feel at least a little bit strange?

There’s no point in denying the plain and simple fact that you will be haunted by your friend for the entire term of your relationship with her ex. Plus, there is also the added weirdness of running into her and putting on a show at social gatherings.

#2 Dealing with jealousy. Ask anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a friend’s ex and they will tell you that jealousy will always rear its ugly head. Whether you want to or not, you will always compare yourself to her.

Even people in regular relationships will tell you that being jealous of their partner’s ex flares up every once in a while. How much worse do you think it will be when you personally know his ex and are even friends with her?

She is not just a friend on his Facebook page that you can virtually stalk and delete whenever you want. She is a living, breathing person whom you share a friendship with. It doesn’t mean that you have to date a virgin who was never in a relationship to avoid being jealous. It just means that it’s harder to forget the fact that your boyfriend was once happy with someone whom you also happen to know.

You will always have to deal with the burden of living up to your friend. The bar that she set, no matter how high or low, will always be a hindrance when it comes to moving forward in your relationship.

#3 More fights. There is no doubt that you will encounter more fights in this relationship than any other. Whether it’s disagreeing about going to a party just because you know his ex is going to be there or arguing with him about throwing out certain things because it reminds you of her, stupid fights will crop up.

Keep in mind that arguing will happen not just with your boyfriend, but also with the friend who used to date him, as well as with other friends you have in common. You may even be ousted from your pack of girlfriends, so be prepared for that. The ex-factor is a big deal when it comes to cliques and if they think you’re selfish enough to betray a friend, they’ll certainly believe you deserve the heartache and drama that comes with the territory.

#4 You can end up losing both. There is a saying that friendships outlast relationships and although it’s not the case and point every time, it certainly rings true very often. By delving into a romantic relationship with a friend’s ex, you have to keep in mind that there is a possibility of the relationship ending eventually.

The saddest part about it all is that you will have to mourn not just the loss of your boyfriend, but of your friend as well. You two ladies will never be able to pick up where you left off. So if you are willing to sacrifice a great friendship for a roll in the hay, then by all means, it’s your prerogative.

#5 Picking sides. Dating a friend’s ex is a bad idea not just for you, but for the friends you have in common. Things will never be the same again, not just between you and your friend, but also within the group. The same way it’s a bad idea to date someone within your core circle of friends, it’s also a bad idea to date a friend’s ex because sides will be chosen, battles will be won and lost, and things can never go back to the way they once were.

By dating a friend’s ex, you’re indirectly and quite selfishly asking your common friends to pick sides because when it comes down to it, you crave the support and approval of people who are important to you. If in case you do go through with dating the guy, get yourself ready for the possibility that your circle of friends won’t be on your side.

#6 Kills the intimacy. This is especially true if you had a close relationship with the friend in question. She probably would have told you everything about this guy during one of your many girly chats. From his habits, things he loves doing, favorite food, dark secrets, the way he is in bed and so on.

Dating someone whom you already have the lowdown on kind of kills the excitement and intimacy that comes with dating someone new. The whole magical journey of getting to know someone and falling in love is tainted by the fact that you had a head start in that department and you got all that info through his ex. How morbid.

Sure, you may justify this by saying that it’s good to know what you are getting yourself into, but wouldn’t you rather find these things out for yourself?

At the end of the day, it’s up to you to be with a friend’s ex, especially if you think this is your chance at being happy in love. However, always remember that dating a friend’s ex comes with risks. If you can take the consequences, then by all means, go for it!

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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You can change someone else’s life too!

 

How to Stop Fighting Over Money in a Relationship

Find out how you can stop fighting over money in a relationship, and start saving money instead. Ask yourself these six questions that can help you change your lives for the better.

 

Sit down with your partner while reading this, or send this feature across to your partner so they too can understand these pointers.

If you’re already experiencing the symptoms of a money squabble, here are some thoughts that would definitely make a difference in your lives.

Six Questions to Help You Stop Fighting with your Partner

Q1. After you’ve purchased something, is it the purchase or your relationship that holds more value to you? 

In a happy relationship, both of you have an equal say, and any amount of money you earn does not enable you to enjoy more power in your relationship.

Nor does that mean you can buy what you want, whether your partner likes it or not.

Q2. Do you really need to buy that?

Whenever you want to buy something, ask yourself if you really need it, and can’t do without it. And then ask your partner about it, and rationalize.

If both of you are comfortable with the thought of making that purchase, go ahead. If not, read Q1 again!

Q3. Are you a spendthrift? 

Be truthful here, because lying will not help anyone. Do you love spending money because it makes you feel good, or better than the people around you? Have you done anything to deal with the issue?
If you’re a spendthrift then gradually cut down your expenses to a moderate level. But if you find that you still can’t come to terms with each other’s views, it would be better to reassess your relationship.

Q4. Do you get abusive when your partner points out your excessive purchases?

It is always easier to curse the darkness than to light a candle. It is easier to abuse than to try and listen. Start listening and do not yell. Stay calm and put forth your view on issues in a clear manner. No amount of anger will ease the situation.

Get involved in issues together and sort the differences, but don’t ever get repetitive on your partner’s flaws.

Q5. Have both of you set goals on your money and expenditure levels?

It is your goals that should guide your expense. Set realistic goals and pursue them together. This will reduce your arguments.

Q5. Have you started making changes? 

It might not be easy at first to reduce your expenses and stop fighting over money. But you will soon be able to sort out all your differences, and appreciate and respect each other’s opinions when it comes to making purchases. You could, of course, set aside a certain amount of money to spend on small luxuries now and then, as long as it’s feasible.

Q6. Are both of you participating equally in trying to stop fighting over money?

Equal participation is the key to a happy future. Whether it is in setting goals or for analyzing your budget, never burden your partner with too much responsibility or take all of it away from them. It is important for both of you to take decisions together and share the responsibilities.

Involve your partner in every decision and help them involve themselves. Make your partner feel wanted. Shunning one partner’s view on purchases and money management will only create a bigger rift between both of you.

It’s easy to point fingers and argue with your partner, but it really can be easier to stop fighting over money in a relationship and start saving money if both of you try to understand each other. 

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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Happy Things You Need for a Perfectly Happy Life!

Wondering how to have a happy life? You don’t need too much to get that perfect life. All you need are just these 13 happy things, and nothing more!

 

A happy life is the dream, isn’t it?
That’s what all of us want.

We struggle and toil day in and day out, with the hope of abundant happiness in the future.

But what if I told you that a happy life is just right around the corner?

What if you could attain it as soon as you read this feature or within a few weeks?

It’s true, really.

Happiness is very subjective, because most of us truly have no idea what happiness is all about.

To many people, happiness is a richer life, to someone else, it’s true love, and to a few others, it’s three square meals a day.

Ever wondered why happiness means so many different things to so many people?
Well, that’s because most of us have no idea what real happiness is.

Happiness and the happy things that matter

If you’re wondering how to have a happy life, you just need to remember a few key details and work towards achieving it.

Many people spend a lifetime chasing behind the elusive happiness, and when they finally realize what it takes to be happy, they may be filled with nothing but regrets because they didn’t see happiness when they had the chance.

But then again, it’s never too late to feel the surge of blissful happiness fill within you, is it?

The happy energy within you

Happiness attracts happiness. Sadness draws sadness.

If you’re annoyed, scheming or miserable all the time, everything around you will feel the same way.

 You’ll draw people who are unhappy and everything around you will drain your happiness away.

As philosophical as this may sound, the energy that you give out is the energy you receive. If you’re positive in your outlook towards your personal world, your world will seem positive and full of happiness.

If you’re genuinely nice to the people around you, they’ll be nice to you in return. If you take people for granted or behave nicely to people only when you need them, the world will treat you the same way.

What defines your happiness?

Have you ever sat down by yourself and asked this question? How would you define happiness? What do you think you would need to feel happy? Don’t be impulsive and wish for something that you need right now. Think of the big picture. What is happiness to you?

Only when you have a clear definition of personal happiness would you ever be able to achieve it. Isolate money and the material world, and you’ll have your own definition of happiness.

13 happy things you need for a happy life

True happiness is easy to achieve if you have the happy things that matter in your life. If you’re confused about what happiness truly means to you, fret not, because it’s really simple. All you need are these 13 happy things.

Make a checklist of these 13 happy things, and tick them off when you feel like you’ve achieved them.

And for the first time in your life, you’ll know what it takes to truly feel happiness, inside and everywhere around you!

#1 A loving family/partner. Having someone to love you unconditionally and loving them back unconditionally in return plays a big part in your happiness. It gives more meaning to your life because you have someone to share every moment of your existence with.

As humans, we have an innate need to feel loved and desired. And just having someone to share your life with can give you a lot of happiness and fulfillment. After all, love does make everything in life more meaningful and special.

#2 A satisfying job. In our society, what you do at work defines you as a person. So do you like what you do? If the one trait that defines who you as a person doesn’t make you happy, can you ever achieve true happiness through that job?

Do you really like your job, or are you working only for the money it gives you? You spend a big part of your life working, so try to ensure that you love what you do to earn a living, and that’ll ensure that your life will be full of excitement and fun.

#3 A few good friends. You don’t need many friends to be happy. You just need a handful of friends that you can trust and spend time with. Can you count your true friends on your fingertips? In your pursuit of better things, don’t overlook true friendships. Having a few good friends to talk over the phone or spend an occasional evening with can make you feel more positive and happy.

And even if you’re in a perfect relationship with your lover, both of you need to spend time away from each other now and then to grow as individuals and retain your own lives.

#4 A hobby or a passion. One of the happy things that can give you a sense of achievement and personal satisfaction is your hobby. If you don’t have a hobby, get one, be it fixing a car or gardening or getting more informed about an interesting subject. A passionate hobby will give you more confidence and build your interest in things that are beyond your immediate needs.

#5 A good night’s sleep. A good night’s sleep is one of those overlooked things that can wreak havoc in your life, personal and professional. Sleep could seem overrated, but when you get less sleep, you’d be more sluggish and slow, and your mind would work slower than other days. And let’s not forget about how grumpy you’d feel all day.

Make sure you get at least seven to eight hours of sleep every day. You’ll wake up feeling fresh and excited to face the happy day ahead of you.

#6 An occasional adventure or vacation. Don’t ever let your life stagnate. Try at least one new thing every week or go to one new place you haven’t been to before every now and then. As hard as you slave away your life for a better future, your life will still feel the same unless you look for ways to keep your life exciting all the time.

Happiness never sprouts overnight. Start working towards happiness right now, or you’ll never have a happy life even when you reach your perceived milestones.

#7 A sustainable income. Money is not overrated. Without money, a lot of things you want to indulge in may be out of your reach. But at the same time, money isn’t everything too. Money is just worthless paper if all you do is let it accumulate in the bank.

The value of money is best experienced when you spend it now and then. Don’t idle your life, and ensure that you have a sustainable income at all times. Feeling rich is a state of mind. When you feel like you’re earning enough to have a happy life, your outlook towards life will start to get more positive and happier.

#8 Goals. Without a purpose or a goal, we’re just animals that exist with no purpose. As humans, we’re constantly looking for a purpose for everything, be it our origins or what happens after our end. But in between all that time, constantly create goals, small ones and big ones. And work towards it with dedication.

Each time you achieve a goal, you’ll feel a lot better about yourself and your life will feel more focused and adventurous.

#9 Exercise. As difficult as stretching your legs or getting your heart racing while doing a cardio workout may seem, a good workout can change you for the better within a few months.
Working out regularly fills your body with happy hormones and makes you feel good from the inside. And on the outside, you’d look a lot better and your clothes will look a lot sexier too. And most importantly, making the effort to work out regularly will give you a sense of accomplishment and increase your determination in life.

#10 Good food. Food is one of those happy things that can help you appreciate your life so much more. Cooking a meal together with a lover, sharing dinner with friends, or just checking a new restaurant out when you’re bored will always leave you with a new experience. And truth be told, some of the happiest conversations are shared over good food.

#11 Positive thoughts. Fill your mind with positivity, or you’ll just end up miserable and frustrated all the time. Don’t forget the bad lessons you’ve learned and the experiences you’ve had in your life, but don’t let them bother you all the time.

Comparisons and jealousy are negative thoughts that will always drag you down into the pits. Learn to look at the bright side all the time, and you’ll have a much happier approach towards life every single day.

#12 Pause. Look around. Appreciate. The world is a beautiful place. It doesn’t matter how busy you are or how late you are for work. Press the pause button on your hectic life and learn to appreciate the little happy things that catch your attention. It’s only when you appreciate the beauty all around you can you appreciate your life and fill your heart with limitless happiness.

#13 Memories. Your life is nothing but a collection of memories, don’t you forget that. In your pursuit of wanting happy things in the distant future, you may forget all about the happy things you have around you today.

Can you name ten amazing experiences you’ve had in the last year or two? If you can’t, you’ve been too caught up in planning your future that you’ve forgotten to enjoy your present. Learn to create happy memories all the time, with whatever you have in your life right now. If you get this wrong, you may attain your long term goals in life someday, but you may have no recollections of anything you’ve experienced along the way. Is that what you really want, a life that’s not worth remembering?

If you want to have a happy life, remember these 13 happy things all the time. You don’t always have to wait for the future to be happy. There are so many happy things in the world and so much happiness just waiting for you, if only you care enough to look.

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Skinny Dipping for the Shy – How to Skinny Dip

Ever wanted to feel that exhilarating rush of being naughty and nude in the open, shielded only a semi reflecting sheet of transparent water? Well, that’s skinny dipping for you. If you know the rules, taking a skinny dip can be a lot of flirty fun, even for a shy beginner.

 ave you ever skinny dipped with your friends? While skinny dipping has remained a fantasy for most people, it’s one of those fantasies that are worth bringing to life.

Skinny dipping – Taking the leap

Skinny dipping is a rush that feels so unreal and giddy. And the touch of water caressing your bare skin can be a high that’s worth adding into your bucket list.

But how does it happen? How do an entire group of friends just take off all their clothes and jump into a pool of water, be it a lake or a shallow seashore without as much as a second thought?

That’s really the issue. Skinny dips are just not a spur of the moment thing all the time. Usually, for a successful skinny dip, it needs to be premeditated and planned.

How to skinny dip with friends

Skinny dipping alone is just no fun, why, you do that every day in your bath tub.

So if you really want to enjoy a good skinny dip, you need the company of a few good friends.
Skinny dipping is something that’s been indulged in, since forever.

It’s only in the last few decades that we’ve all started feeling really insecure about our own physiques and little cute abnormalities in our bodies.

Things to do before skinny dipping

For a successful skinny dip, you need to prepare yourself in the head. Here are a few tips that could help you.

Lose your insecurities

One of the biggest reasons why many men and women don’t skinny dip is because they assume they look bad in the buff. But come on, if Peter Griffin thinks he looks sexy naked, how bad could you look? At the end of the day, it’s only your insecurity that makes you look bad. Lose the insecurity and feel good about your own body, and you’ll only get more attractive with every passing minute!

Plan the moment

If you really want to skinny dip with your friends, there are two ways to go about it. You can be spontaneous, or the skinny dip can be premeditated.

a. Spontaneous skinny dipping

Stripping your clothes off spontaneously never really helps if you’re the only one taking your clothes off. So if you want this to work, you have to have a couple of friends on your side. Convince them to shed their clothes too, and just like a herd of sheep, everyone else will follow you eventually!

b. Premeditated skinny dipping

Sometimes, spontaneous skinny dipping just doesn’t work. What if one of your friends is wearing torn underwear? Or gasp, what if a few girls haven’t shaved their legs and God knows what else? Of course, you’ll never know these details in the first place. You wouldn’t be able to convince that friend to skinny dip in a million years!

To avoid such circumstances, it’s always better to reveal the plan a day in advance if possible. Are you guys heading out to a friend’s pool the next day, or a little vacation in a nearby island?

 Whatever it is, just spread the word. Excitedly tell everyone that all of you are going skinny dipping the next morning. Now your joke would confuse them and they’ll wonder if there’s a possibility of skinny dipping. So there’s a good chance they’ll all come prepared anyways. Just in case!

Taking the plunge into skinny dipping

Skinny dipping is fun, bonding and exciting. And it’s worth all the planning. So before you actually skinny dip, convince a couple of your friends, at least one other girl and guy, to skinny dip with you.
Don’t skinny dip when everyone’s busy and excited doing their own thing. Wait for the mood to sober down until everyone’s just waiting for something exciting to come up. And when the moment’s right, announce it out to the world and see how they react.

In every group, there will be a few people who will be taken aback and be completely against it. Leave these skinny dipping party poopers aside for now. They’ll come around themselves later. Excitedly convince those people who are grinning and yet being hesitant.

At the same time, start taking your tee shirt and pants off. On cue, let the friends you’ve convinced earlier take their clothes off too.

Don’t take off your underwear just yet, and save it for last. Get into the water and then throw your underwear out, and let the few friends who have come into the water do the same.

Once you do this and start having fun splashing around in the water, your other friends wouldn’t be able to resist it. And before you know it, you’ll be hearing a lot of naked cannonballs falling into the water
!
And there you have it, a complete guide to skinny dip and get your friends to skinny dip with you!

Things to know before skinny dipping

While skinny dipping is a lot of fun, it can be a rude shock if you don’t follow these pointers on the things you should know before skinny dipping.

Do you trust your friends?

Indulge in skinny dipping only if you’re with friends you completely trust. It’s not fun with strangers and even an accidental touch can seem like a sexual threat. And at times, you never know what a new friend’s intentions are.

Never involve cameras

Make sure none of your friends are snapping photos. If you’re with a close group of friends, they’d listen to you if you tell them not to snap any pictures. You never know in whose hands a picture could turn up years later.

Know the laws of the state

Skinny dipping is illegal in most parts of the world. So if you really want to skinny dip, do it when you’re on a vacation in a place where it’s legal, or in the comfort of a friend’s private pool.

Times when you should completely avoid skinny dipping

While being aware of the things to know before skinny dipping is a good idea, there are times when you should never skinny dip. Use these tips as a reference the next time you want to get naked in the water.

Drunk skinny dipping

While most people swear by drunken skinny dipping, it’s definitely not safe. Having a few shots may ease your nervousness and shed your inhibitions, but it can also make you less aware of what’s going on around you. And that’s never a good thing when you’re naked with other people.

When you’re feeling unsafe

Don’t skinny dip when you’re feeling unsafe. It’s alright to feel awkward, but if getting naked makes you nervous and panicky, perhaps skinny dipping is not for you. And sometimes, it’s better to trust our own instincts more than anything else.

You’re with a lusty friend

All your friends may be really sweet and nice, but is there someone who’s been trying to hit on you sexually or get physical with you in your group? Now you really shouldn’t be hanging out with this person in the first place, especially if he’s crossing the line all the time. But nevertheless, if this friend’s pestering you to get naked, it’s better to avoid skinny dipping. While skinny dipping is liberating and fun with friends, a lusty friend could be asking you to get naked only to take advantage of the situation.

Now that you know everything about skinny dipping with friends, follow these rules and you’ll see how much fun a good skinny dip can be!

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Magical Holidays in Kerala

Kerala, one of the fine holiday destinations in India, is known the world over for its therapeutic oils, exotic wildlife and awe inspiring sights. And Kannan Devan Hills is one of the best places where you can enjoy the beauty of Kerala, and immerse yourself in a quiet paradise in India.

 

Early next day, Somanna, a KDHP employee for several years and I, drove for over an hour to see a natural pool with fresh water trickling down the mountains.

The experience was magical and in some ways dramatic. The well secluded spring is accessible only by the guests of KDHP. The spot is ideal for bird watching and has a wonderful spring water pool, a luxury no five star hotel can provide.

Time flew past as I marveled at the wealth of outdoor opportunities that are available in and around the area. Somanna surprised me by saying that there was more to the place than meets the eye! He led me to his secret retreat uphill. A steep walk led us to a point where we could witness the waterfall cascading from a height of nearly 300 feet at the backdrop of the panoramic view of the magnificent hills. After a breathless walk, the only word that I could let out was a big wow!

My tour of the KDHP came to an end with my stay at Chokkanad. I reflected on my tour of the estate and was surprised to realize how many things I had managed to do in a short span of time and how refreshed I felt.

The estate is a retreat to nature lovers, romantic couples, golf enthusiasts, trekkers, serious anglers, poets, writers, film makers and so forth. Although vacationing here is by no means inexpensive, it is well worth the money.

With an increasing number of people losing their sanity over work pressures and suffocating lifestyles, a visit to KDHP estates works like a magic tonic. Although I found myself dragging my feet to return back to the real world, I felt a deep sense of calm and composure. It is unbelievable how being close to nature can rejuvenate your senses. I must admit that whoever thought of opening the doors of the tea estates to tourists must have been a genius. It truly is a sanctuary harboring a multitude of nature’s bounty.

To explore the vast expanses of this place, one needs to have a rugged means of transport. A jeep is the ideal mode of transport. It can be hired at Munnar which is a beautiful town by itself, or the management of the tea sanctuary can help you with the bookings/reservations for the vehicle.
Enroute to Munnar from Kochi, one can also visit the famous Kaladi Ashram, the birthplace of spiritual guru, Sri Shankracharya on the banks of the Periyar River.

How to reach Kannan Devan Hills

By Air 

Kochi is the nearest Airport and is well connected from all major cities in India.

Munnar is located at a distance of 75 miles from Kochi Airport. Prior arrangement can be made while booking the vacation for pickup and drop off facility to the airport from the management.

Chacko P Thomas / Abbas Khan

KDHP Co. Pvt.Ltd., Munnar – 685 616, Kerala

Phone: +91 4865 230561/65; Fax: +91 4865 230333

 Website: http://www.theteasanctuary.com

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Sex on a First Date: Should You Give In to the Urge?

Have you ever caught yourself thinking if having sex on the first date is a good idea? Find out the pros and cons of indulging in first date sex here!

You’re out on a first date with someone whose sexual energy cannot be denied. You may find yourself extremely attracted to his sexy eyes or her sensual lips.

On top of that, dinner was fantastic and the conversation was even better than you had hoped.

Your date knowingly smiles, leans forward, and with the subtlest of whispers says…

“Your place or mine?”

You freeze. You panic. You’ve heard all about the horror stories of sex on the first date! What do you do?

Decline and your date might think you’re some sort of stuck-up prude from decades past. Agree and it might spell the ruin of your potentially bright future together. Oh, the dilemma!

Frantically, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom to read this very article on whether or not you should sleep with someone on the first date. We won’t give you the definitive answer, as that’s entirely up to you. What we can do, however, is give you arguments from both sides:

Why you shouldn’t…

Are you looking for just a little more convincing that sex on the first date is a bad idea? Here are our reasons for why you should avoid sleeping with your date so soon.

#1 It’s been drilled into our psyche. We’re pretty much hard-wired not to have sex on the first date. For women, it’s because of the whole wife-whore dichotomy wherein we believe that putting out too soon would deem us as non-wife material, and therefore just another lay. For men, on the other hand, your date might think that sex is all you’re really after.

If you don’t want to risk even a smidge of what most of society would deem as behavior suited to the most promiscuous of people, then having sex with someone you’ve just had your first date with is not for you.

#2 Your date doesn’t know your body yet. It takes time to get to know someone’s body, from their little quirks to their ultra-erogenous zones. It’s highly unlikely that your date will go all Sherlock Holmes on you and deduce where best to touch you.

First dates can be awkward enough as it is. Just imagine how much more awkward it would be to start fumbling in the dark while not knowing how to even please your partner!

#3 It makes you seem “easy.” All relationships have milestones, from the first date to the first kiss to the first time you see each other naked. Having sex at the first instance eliminates that particular milestone since it’ll be all over in the first 12 or so hours.

Also, some people treat sex like a conquest, a challenge to overcome. If you yield to your sexual desire too easily, then your date may either think that you’re an easy lay that doesn’t even need the promise of a next date or that you’re just looking for a no strings attached relationship.

#4 Waiting is a great form of foreplay. You know how it is when you watch a romantic TV show and you want the two characters to just get it on? If they do that within the first few episodes, there’s not much else to look forward to.

It’s the same with first night sex. Sexual tension can build up and cause a lot of excitement. You wait for signs as you get to know each other better. You flirt and make eyes at each other as you subtly touch. When all that tension has built up, you explode into a frenzy of passion. But if there’s not a lot of anticipation for sex, the potential to have an explosion of passion just fizzles out.

#5 Your date might be nuts. Whether you hit your pad, your date’s pad or a hotel, you’re definitely going to be all alone with just each other. How much do you really know about this person? Is your date as nice as you had anticipated? Can a couple of glasses of wine turn your date from a nice person to an utter nutcase?

Whenever you’re alone in a place with someone, it’s important to keep your safety in mind. Never compromise your safety for the promise of a good time. If you have doubts about your date and what he or she may be capable of, it may be a good idea to wait until you learn more about them.

#6 You may confuse lust with love. Starting off with some conversation and moving on to sex can lead you to confuse your sexual attraction with genuine attraction. There’s a difference! Getting all hot and bothered can bring out a surge of hormones that make you feel elated and ecstatic. This can make you think that you’re happy when you’re around your date, when in fact your body is just reacting to the promise of great sex.

By removing sex from the equation at the start, your feelings are based only on your mental and emotional connection. Since your hormones can wreak havoc on your mind when you have sex, your physical attraction may start to override your emotional connection, thus making you think you’re in love when you’re actually in-lust.

Why you should…

When you really think about it, is sex with someone you’re on the first date with such a bad idea? You might end up missing out on a fantastic romp! For other reasons to just go for it, here are five very good arguments to consider.

#1 Sexual compatibility matters. Let’s face it, sex can be a deal breaker. You can be dating someone for months and everything’s fine and dandy. But once you finally get it on, you might learn that you’re completely incompatible in the bedroom. Sometimes, this can put a strong enough strain on your relationship that you eventually break up on the grounds that you’re no longer attracted to your partner as a whole.

The first date is basically a compatibility test. If you both pass each other’s conversational and life story criteria, then the next logical test would be the sexual criteria. Why not just go for it in one fell swoop to save you both the time?

#2 Sexual tension can be distracting. You know how when you can’t keep yourself from imagining what it would be like to be all wrapped up in the horizontal tango with your date? Instead of listening to your date talk about things that you’d normally find interesting, you’re too distracted with naughty thoughts, and you find yourself unable to contribute anything to the conversation.

Why not just get it over with and address your sexual curiosity? Once that’s out of the way, the distraction is gone, you can move on to more pressing matters like deep and meaningful conversation. Who knows, having sex with your date might actually make both of you more open and honest.

#3 If your date really likes you, WHEN you have sex won’t really matter. One of the primary reasons people avoid sex on the first night is that it opens them up to judgment. However, if your date is really into you and respects your decisions, then that could already serve as a great foundation for a relationship. Whether or not you have sex immediately shouldn’t affect the way they view you, and it may even instill a sort of admiration towards you for choosing to break the stigma.

On the other hand, if your date doesn’t even fancy you all that much, having sex now or on the 100th date won’t make much of a difference. They can just choose to never call you again, whether or not you sleep with them or they can just drag you along for a few dates until they ditch you because they were never really that into you.

#4 Sex is great, why deprive yourself because society says you should? However radical your views may be to others when it comes to sex, there will always be that teeny tiny voice that will tell you that society will judge you.

But if you immediately want to have sex with the person you’re on a date with, then who should stop you? You are, after all, capable of free will. You’re a consenting adult who’s aware of consequences. Don’t let the judgment of inconsequential people bother you because your sex life is not their business!

#5 If you’re both just interested in sex, why bother putting up a façade? Oftentimes, you can instantly tell that your date is after one thing and one thing only. Sometimes, you might even be in complete agreement. So if you both know that this is the case, why should you dilly-dally any further? Besides, your first intimate session can blossom into a casual no-strings-attached friendship, which can also be quite fun.

Have you decided what you want to do now, or has our list made things even more complicated? Everyone has different views and priorities. But by giving you this list, we’re hoping we can strike a vein to help you decide.

Your decision to have sex on the first date is yours and yours alone to make. But if you do decide to go for it, just remember to stay safe, use protection, and let a trusted friend know where you’re headed to ensure your safety. Good luck!

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14 Insights into What Men Want and Need in a Woman

Been in and out of relationships for the better part of your life and still guessing what men want in a woman? Find the answers in our foolproof guide!

 

I know what you must be thinking. How would a woman know what a man wants and needs in a partner? What makes her think she can help me?

These questions and more are probably running like crazy through your head while you read this. Women all over the world are tired of getting dumped because the men they were with cannot figure out what the heck they want and need out of a partner.

Women look at men as simple creatures but many have learned the hard way *myself included* that they are far more complex than we ever imagined them to be.

To address your concerns listed above, I do not pretend to be an expert on the topic. I have not studied the mythical creature that is man and neither have I written my thesis on what they want and need.

Furthermore, I certainly have not lived as a man to know what goes on in their heads. My only credentials are that I have been with the same man for six years now and have amassed enough life experience to know what he wants and needs *for now at least*.

14 insights into what men want and need in a woman

In any case, do not pay too much attention to me because all the tips listed below were garnered from men anyway, so you can be sure of their legitimacy. Keep in mind that these pearls of wisdom are not from random men plucked off the street. These are men who have been in long term relationships for up to seven years and who are comfortable with speaking their minds. These six men know for a fact what they want and need in a partner.

By sitting down with them and weaseling out these tips, I have made life just a tiny bit simpler for all you women out there who are reading this. Hopefully, it will no longer be a great mystery to figure out what men want and need in a partner. Here are 14 general yet helpful things to keep in mind the next time your man stumps you.

#1 A confident woman. Nothing is sexier to a man than having a confident woman on his arm. Whether it is wearing something out of this world with total confidence or engaging in a debate on liberal issues in a room full of conservatives, a woman with confidence is what a man wants and needs in a partner.

It does not matter what you look like, what your dress size is or whether your hair has more flyaways than you would like, but if you can exude enough confidence and be happy with yourself, he will be attracted to you like a moth to a flame. You may think otherwise but when men set out seeking a mate, they look for things that are more than skin deep.

#2 An independent woman. An article that appeared in the Huffington Post touched on the subject of what men want in a wife. According to the piece, “Researchers have found that men today want more than a woman whose talents include looking beautiful and nothing more.” The article then goes on to say that, “A German study that surveyed 2,000 men over three years found that 76 percent of them would not accept a partner who didn’t have a job, and 45 percent said they want a woman who earned lots of money herself.”

There you have it, ladies. The days of men wanting an air-headed trophy wife are long gone. Men today want an independent woman who can hold her own weight, both socially and financially.

#3 Zero mind games. Like you and me, men hate mind games and do not appreciate being manipulated. Whether it is playing your man into moving in together or pressuring him to tie the knot even though you know he is not ready, men are truly not as dumb as you think. They know when you are manipulating them and the reason they allow it to happen is because they are simply on the same page as you are. Do not chalk it up as you being successful in convincing him to give you a key to his place.

There is no need to remind him or pressure him into taking the relationship to the next level. He knows what he wants and he let you win because he wants the same thing. However, you have to realize that your luck will eventually run out and the more often you try to play him, the closer you are to getting dumped.

#4 Loyalty. If there is one thing that we can all agree on, it is that loyalty is very important to both men and women. Although women always say that men are the cheaters, remember that women cheat too. The same way you will not tolerate your man getting jiggy with someone else, he will not accept you cheating on him. Fidelity is very important to men and they need to know that you are not going to hurt them. If you are loyal, you can be sure that it is definitely one of the many qualities that he wants and needs in a partner.

#5 Strokes his ego. Men have huge egos and this is something that you should know by now. As humble and modest as your man may be, you can rest assured that there is still some egoism in him. Stroke his ego as often as you can and let him know that he is wonderful.

Men need a partner who can give them assurance that what they’re doing is the right thing, or at the very least, worthwhile. For example, if your man is worried about a huge work-related presentation, stroke his ego by saying something like, “You know who you are and what you can do. I have seen it for myself. You are great and are going to ace this.”

#6 A kind heart. No man wants to be saddled with a bitch for the rest of his life. No matter how great you are in bed, if you are a complete she-devil, he is going to pick the kind girl over you any day. Having a kind heart is important to men, especially when they are ready to settle down with a life partner.

Whether it is the joy you find in volunteering at the local animal shelter or always buying a loaf of bread for the homeless man who lives on the corner of your block, men notice and remember these little acts of kindness and are very attracted to them.

#7 No gold diggers. Unless you have the sheer luck of dating someone who is rolling in dough and has more than enough to share his fortune with India, no man wants to be with a woman who is with him solely for his money. If you are a gold digger or have cruel intentions to spend whatever you can get your hands on, you can be sure that you are going to get the boot soon. Men want a partner who can appreciate the value of money.

#8 A healthy mind and body. Proving that you can look after yourself is a very sexy trait indeed. Men love it when you not only look good but feel good as well. A healthy woman has curves that can make a man moan just thinking of them. When you put effort into exercising, eating right and staying healthy, your man will appreciate it more than if you were to let yourself go or if you were to starve yourself silly. The same way you would love to have a healthy man in your life, he wants the same from you.

#9 An intelligent mind. The whole Stepford Wife ideology is a thing of the past. Men do not want or need a pretty face who cannot partake in intelligent conversation. As gorgeous as you may be, if you are a dud, he will not want to be with you in the long run.

Men know that one day your looks will go and all he is going to be left with is a woman who has long since lived out her glory years. Your looks may be what captivate him but your intelligence is what will make him stay. As hard as it may be for you to believe, men like a woman with brains.

#10 Partner in crime. Men want and need a partner in crime. They want someone whom they can have fun with. Whether it is spending a weekend by the ocean basking in the sun and scuba diving, or just giving him input on his latest manuscript, you have to remember that men want a partner, not just a hole to stick it in.

You have to think of your relationship as a team. If one person does not carry his or her weight, then the team will lose. Unlike some women who can only seem to focus on the present, men surprisingly think of what is going to happen in the future. Having a woman whom they can have fun with and be themselves with ranks very high on the list of what men want and need.

#11 Acceptance towards his flaws. Never try to change a man because you will fail. Have you never heard the saying, “People change but they don’t change much”? Well, keep that in mind the next time you try to mold your man into the ideal creature. Like women, men have flaws and hate being reminded that they are not living up to your expectations.

Accept and embrace his flaws and you will find that he will unconsciously make an effort to please you. Whether it is leaving the toilet seat down or planning a romantic trip for two to the mountains, you will be surprised at the myriad of things that a man is capable of doing when he does not have to worry about changing who he is to please you.

#12 Clear communication. Out of the six men whom I sat down with to garner insight into this article, all six of them were adamant that clear communication is something that they want and need. Men the world over are confused as to who put the notion into women’s heads that they do not like to communicate.

On the contrary, men love communicating freely and clearly. Do not speak to your man in riddles. Do not expect them to read between the lines. Just talk and let it all out. When you tell your man what you want and need, he will deliver but if you speak in what can only be described as a foreign language, what you’re saying will just go way over his head.

#13 Personal space and time. As much as your man loves you, he needs his personal time and space. Long lasting marriages are the ones where the man found a partner who understands and embraces this concept. Being in a relationship is not all about spending every waking moment together.

Sometimes, it is important for each individual to have their own space and to do things that they enjoy without having to worry about boring the other person. Men love it when their partner has her own friends, passions, hobbies, job and life. Give your man the personal time and space that he needs and you will find a significant improvement in your relationship.

#14 Support and confidence in him. Basically, all men want is for you to support them through the tough times. Whether it is through a financial crisis or family drama, if you can be there in his darkest hour, he will want and need you more than ever. Contrary to popular belief, men take these traits very seriously because they know that life is not always about rainbows and roses. There will be tough times and they want and need a partner who is strong enough to be able to support them emotionally and who can shower them with the confidence to know that everything is going to be okay in the end.

At the end of the day, you have to remember that although they are men, they are still human and crave the same things that women want. If you can live your life by the mantra, “Treat others the way you want to be treated” and apply this concept to your relationship, you will find that life will be so much sweeter and that the two of you will be much happier together. 

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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The Romantic Kannan Devan Hills

Kannan Devan Hills, a quaint tea sanctuary in Kerala, India is a beautiful place that is the perfect getaway from the madness of the fast paced world we live in today.

 

Tea lovers are bound to be fascinated by the vast expanses of visually attractive tea estates.

Behind every sip of freshly brewed tea is the labor of love of hundreds of tea pickers who toil endlessly to bring the best varieties of Indian tea to their tea table. Kerala, a beautiful state in the southernmost tip of India, is world famous for its sprawling tea, pepper, cashew nut and rubber plantations.

A recent tourist attraction that has been much talked about amongst Kerala’s tea estates is the picturesque Kannan Devan Hills. Set in the rolling mountains of the Western Ghats, this piece of heaven is the perfect place for a romantic getaway from the madness of your daily, urban routine.

A conglomeration of scattered tea estates, the Kannan Devan Hills Plantation Company (KDHP) threw open its doors to tourists in the year 2005.

Collectively called the Tea Sanctuary, this unique property has excellent bungalow accommodation in estates surrounding the beautiful tea county of Munnar and provides an opportunity for tourists to explore the plantations at their leisure. A city dweller myself, I jumped at the prospect of vacationing at the quaint Tea Sanctuary of Kannan Devan hills.

The century old KDHP, in the high ranges of Kerala’s Idukki district, is South India’s largest tea company spanning an area of 55,000 square hectares. The bungalows associated with the estate are reminiscent of its colonial past.

 Once home to the British sahibs and their leisurely lifestyle that included hunting, angling, tennis and golf games, these bungalows provide classy accommodation with personal waiters, cooks, housekeepers, exquisite gardens and recreation areas, all vintage style.

It appears that these estates have turned out to be a popular honeymooner’s destination in the recent past. All accommodations are situated at driving distance from the city, Munnar with Parvathi and Sevenmallay being 5 miles from Munnar, Chokkanad (8 miles), Kanniamallay (7 miles), Yallapaty (41 miles) and Southaparai (45 miles).

My journey began with a short flight to Kochi and then a drive of nearly 100 miles in the dead of the night to Yallapaty. Thanks to the punctuality (or the lack of it) of low-priced airways, I was running 6 hours behind schedule. I was supposed to enjoy the drive during the daylight hour but ended up driving in the dead of the night.

The journey in the middle of the night didn’t offer anything exciting except for a roadside tea kiosk located at a major traffic intersection. When I finally reached the estate property, I settled down in a palatial room with a view of the plantations a few hours before dawn.

The next morning, Abbas, my host at the tea sanctuary, greeted me with a cigarette in one hand! Originally a Bangalorean, Abbas narrated my itinerary for the next three days. Invigorated by a fresh hot cup of tea, we drove towards Top Station and Kundaly golf club. The weather was just picture perfect until the time we approached the golf course. The south eastern monsoon broke down heavily on us. I was glued to the windshield in an attempt to take in as much of the scenic beauty of the surroundings as I possibly could.

The drive by itself was rather bumpy and it was hard to find a stretch of twenty yards without a pothole. In the end, it was well worth it as the drive led us to a gorgeous 9-hole golf course. The grass was not exactly well groomed but the place was a good location for a movie shoot. I had the rare opportunity to watch a heroine swaying to a tune amidst the downpour, a sight that people would have killed to witness in bigger cities.

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14 Tips to Get Your Partner to Open Up about Sex

Do you want your partner or spouse to open up and talk about sex, their interests and the things they want to try in bed? Well, here’s the right way!

 

Are you having a hard time talking about sex with your partner?

Sometimes, talking about sex is always an awkward moment, especially if you’re in a new relationship.
And at other times, you could be in a seasoned relationship and still feel uncomfortable discussing sex because you’re afraid you may be judged.

If you want to take an initiate to talk about sex, but your partner seems too embarrassed to discuss their ideas and thoughts with you, fret not.


14 tips to get your partner to open up and talk about sex

You can turn even the most prudish of lovers with locked up secrets into a serial confessor using these 14 tips on how you can get your lover to start talking about sex.

Start slow, and take a few baby steps using these tips.

And before you know it, you’ll feel closer to your partner.

And your sex life will feel more awesome and fresh with every passing day!

#1 Past experiences. Don’t confess about your past experiences, especially if your partner doesn’t know just how sexually liberated and active you’ve been before you met your lover. Surprisingly, most partners prefer to stay in the dark instead of hearing their partner’s confession about their kinky past.

If you’re sure your partner would be able to handle your past, slip a few details now and then and watch how they react to it over a couple of weeks.

But if you want your partner to open up about sex talk, let your lover know that you’ve had partners before, and that you’re open to trying new things if it could make both your sex lives more interesting and fascinating!

#2 Avoid the serious talk. ‘We need to talk about sex’ is the last thing you should say if you want to broach the topic of sex and sexual fantasies. Well, that’s unless one of you say something that offends the other.

The best time to talk about sex is when both of you are in bed. The second best time to talk about it is when both of you are just fooling around or relaxing around the house. The third best time to talk about it is when the opportune moment crops up, either because of something a friend said or something you saw on the telly or in a magazine *or in Lovepanky!*

#3 Speak in third person. If you’re feeling terribly awkward about the impending sexual conversation, talk about a *friend of yours* who likes a particular fantasy or has indulged in a particular sexual act.

It’s easier to talk in third person, and if your partner likes the idea, you can always smile sheepishly and confess that you were talking about yourself!

#4 Naughty questions. Want to explore sexual ideas and fantasies without feeling awkward about it? There’s no better way to do that than by using our list of dirty questions. Try them, and you’ll see just how much both of you can learn about each other’s sexual interests in under an hour!

#5 Don’t push it. Don’t go overboard while trying to please your partner, or to prove that you love their idea even if you don’t. Just because your partner enjoys something doesn’t mean they expect you to enjoy the same things. Sometimes, it takes a compromise between sexual interests. And at other times, it has to be a complete no-no.

Talk to your partner about your sexual interests, or hear theirs out. Take some time for the ideas to sink in, and if it’s something you just can’t do, be frank and tell your lover about it *without making them feel judged!*

#6 Delay penetration. What do you do when you get into bed to make love? Do you rush into the act because you find your lover irresistible? Well, stop and take it slow the next few times you’re in bed with them.

Taking it slow in bed, and talking about things either of you enjoy can be a revelation that can make your sex life a lot more interesting. Take time to explore each other, talk about things both of you enjoy and try new things that feel good in bed.

#7 Start the conversation with a confession. But don’t go overboard just yet. If you’ve been trying to ask your partner what they enjoy, and your partner just blushes coyly or pretends like they’re interested in nothing but the missionary, don’t push them on.

Instead, make a small and calculated confession. Brush the surface of something you enjoy and tell your partner about it. And see how your boyfriend or girlfriend reacts to your little confession. Taking it slow can help your partner test their own boundaries without assuming you’re a sexual deviant!

#8 Talk dirty in bed. Dirty talk kicks butt, especially when both of you are completely comfortable to explore each other’s sexual minds without feeling inhibited by it.

If you want your partner to open up to you and talk about the things they enjoy sexually, just start talking about something naughty or dirty while having sex with each other. One thing would lead to another, and before you know it, you’ll unleash a wildcat. And oh yes, the sex will blow your mind too!

#9 Don’t clam up. Don’t judge your partner. Just because your partner says they’ve fantasized about having a threesome or that they like the idea of public flashing doesn’t make them a bad person. All of us have our own sexual fantasies, and as tame as yours may seem to you, there’s a big chance you’ll shock many with your own imagination!

If your partner trusts you enough to share their deepest, darkest fantasies with you, the least you can do is let your partner know you accept them for who they are. On the other hand, if you clam up and appear shocked or annoyed, your partner may feel ashamed and never ever open up to you again!

#10 That annoying feeling. If something your partner says bothers you or pricks you hard, sit down with your partner. Calmly and cautiously, tell them how you feel, all the while reassuring them that you’re not judging them but just trying to understand their sexual side better.

On the other hand, if your partner’s sex talk or sexual fantasies arouse or interest you, ask your partner to elaborate so you can add your own dark experiences and interests into the conversation.

#11 Sex suggestions aren’t criticisms. Understand this well, and remember it. If your partner tells you something in bed that offends you, even for a moment, you need to realize that your partner is revealing it to you only to make both your sex lives better. And your partner isn’t saying it just to hurt you or make you feel humiliated in bed.

Accept criticisms in bed gracefully, or even laugh about it. But make sure you remember it so your partner can feel comfortable enough to share their secrets with you in future too.

#12 The right time. Don’t say the wrong things at the wrong time. If your partner talks dirty or shares a fantasy that you don’t particularly appreciate while having sex, don’t stop the to-and-fro midway and stare at your partner with a shocked expression. And talking about something embarrassing or awkward immediately after having sex isn’t advisable either.

If you really want to go into details about a particular fantasy of your lover’s, talk to them about it a while after they mention it, so they don’t feel judged or insulted by your question.

#13 Be open to the conversation. Ask open ended questions when you’re talking about sex secrets with your husband or wife, and try to see things from their perspective before making judgments.
Discuss things both of you enjoy, and take baby steps into the world of exploring sexual fantasies and dirty ideas together. If it works and something makes both of you super horny, well, good for you guys! And if it doesn’t excite you or your partner, move on, there are enough sexual ideas to set your sexual passion on fire! And it all starts with communication.

#14 Don’t be a prude. Look, if you want to talk about sex and kinky ideas, you might as well throw prudishness out of the window, and prepare yourself for a wild ride of sexual exploration. Reveal your fantasies, get kinky and start by telling the truth about the things you enjoy and the new things you want to try in bed.

Holding your sexual thoughts close to your heart and expecting sex to magically get better with each passing day as the infatuation wears off is like asking for a miracle every time you have sex.

Open your mind, and explore the world of sexual fantasies and dark desires together. And as kinky or as naughty as you may think an idea is, believe me, it’s all been said and done by someone else before!

Use these 14 tips to get your partner to open up and talk about sex effortlessly. And most importantly, you have to remember that we live in a world full of sexual fantasies and deviant thoughts. And as freaky as you think you are, your fantasy isn’t as unique or shocking as you think. So don’t be ashamed. You’re never alone!

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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