11 Tips to Make Vaginal Fisting Safer and Sexier

Vaginal fisting may seem like something only porn stars would do. But you may be surprised that it can bring a whole lot of fun to your sex life. 

 

Caveat Emptor: Everything I’ve written below is merely based on my personal experience and research. I am by no means an expert on this. I’m sure you also have something fabulous to share with us. Come back here and tell us about your own fisting journey.

People flinch in fear whenever they hear the controversial sexual act called fisting, while some even consider this as a cultural taboo. Most think that fisting is insanely improbable, dangerously risky and overly intense, in a negative way. In fact, fisting was banned from web porn in UK due to its “life endangering” implications.

The mere sound of the word “fisting” will probably make the conservatives scream something like, “WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT ANYBODY TO PUT THEIR WHOLE HAND IN YOU?”

Nevertheless, I’d say that any sexual acts, whether it is fisting, face sitting, fingering or scissoring, if not done properly can all result in discomfort, severe pain or injury, just the same. In contrast, when it is done correctly, fisting can be intimately exciting and pleasurable too!

What is fisting?

Fisting is an urban term for the sex act of inserting a hand inside a vagina for sexual gratification. Please stop rolling your eyes at me, lesbos! Of course, it is possible to get your entire hand inside a pussy! If an 8-pound baby fits in there like a glove, so can your hand!

Other names for fisting include fist f*cking, pussy fisting, punch f*cking and lesbian fisting. It is so called fisting mainly because as you progress in doing this so-called forbidden sex act, your hand will fold into the shape of a fist as it passes through the vaginal passage, hence its interesting name.

However, let it be known that although fisting can be the most erotic sexual experience anyone can have, it is still not for everyone. Not all women are as roomy down there and flexible as porn stars. Thus, it will be very difficult to fist a woman who is pretty tight as this would absolutely entail pains and tears here and there.

So, for those who are not sure about the size of their “lady gardens” but are dying to give it a try, just remember that the human vagina is elastic enough to withstand parturition several times. But since fisting is supposed to be satisfying and enjoyable despite some initial pain, if it hurts badly, STOP.

How can you make fisting more enjoyable?

Here are some fisting tips that may serve as your guide. Happy fisting everyone!

#1 Set your mind. Determine whether you and your partner are both ready for this intense sex act. Talk about it before having it, and hear each other’s views about the whole fisting thing. If you don’t want to, then tell your partner that you need more time. If you are scared, let your partner know that you are. The decision must be mutual.

Key point: DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING! This one is non-negotiable!

#2 Grease the skids! Prepare yourself by learning more about fisting. There are plenty of resources available online and in print that you can use to inform yourself about the dos and don’ts of fisting. If you are a visual learner, I suggest you watch more lesbian porn or attend workshops to equip yourself with the proper way of doing it. If you are up for the challenge, raise your arm if the lecturer asks for a volunteer during demonstration!

Key point: NEVER DIVE IN UNPREPARED!

#3 Keep everything squeaky clean. If you are the giver, you should make sure that your fingernails are short and without any sharp edges, to reduce the chance of any rips or tears. Your hands must also be as clean as it can be to reduce the possibility of infection. When I say clean, it means it must be washed and free from any jewellery or hand accessories that might hurt or get stuck in the process. There’s no such thing as fashion fisting anyway. If you are the receiver, just make sure your lady parts are pristine.

Key point: THE CLEANER THE BETTER!

#4 Wear a glove. Putting on a latex glove may not be very appealing to everyone. Some find gloves, just like condoms, a total mood buster, while others simply tend to forget once everything starts to heat up. Regardless of your take on this, I’d say wearing one is the responsible approach to fisting. It acts as an added layer of protection against sexually transmitted disease plus it makes your hand smoother and slicker like jell-o, providing ease of access.

Key point: PRACTICE SAFER SEX, WEAR A COVER.

#5 Foreplay like there’s no tomorrow. Extreme arousal is necessary before one can successfully penetrate a vagina with a hand. The receiver must be very relaxed and highly aroused in order for the vaginal walls to expand and the muscles to loosen up to accommodate a fist. So, stimulate your partner in any way possible. Do whatever works to keep the recipient wet and sexually turned on. Be patient and do not rush into insertion.

Key point: GET YOUR GIRL RANDY!

#6 Use a lot of quality lube. Always lubricate, even if you think you can make her secrete enough lube on her own. Be generous in applying lube, if you think you’ve had enough, apply a little extra just to be sure. I suggest you use a water based lube or those that are specially formulated for fisting. Do not use oil based lubes. Oil based lubes and latex gloves are bad combinations as the former weakens the latex, making it futile to use one.

Key point: ALWAYS LUBE UP.

#7 Go gently and slowly. Do not attempt to plunge in your entire hand at once. Fisting is a marathon, not a sprint! Start with one or two fingers, and then slowly add another, and then another until the fourth finger is in. The giver must also feel relaxed while doing this. I repeat, go S-L-O-W-L-Y and C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y, as if you are playing pick-up-sticks in the World Cup. Fuse your fingers together to form a small stretched duck shape so your fingers are as compressed together as possible.
Ordinarily, the thumb and the knuckles are the toughest part to get past. In order to do this, the receiver must be EXTREMELY aroused. Again, lubricate! Do not be in a hurry and give her time to adjust before placing in your thumb and your palm all together. Once the receiver is comfortable with four fingers inside, tuck your thumb under your palm and slowly press on until your knuckles are inside. If you get past this point, your hand will naturally curl into a fist. Otherwise, retreat and take a short break.

It’s okay, take it easy. Once everything is inside, you can turn your wrist or move your hand up and down subtly to produce stimulating sensations. No wild f*cking and pumping! You’re not filming a porn movie! To be safe, make it a habit to ask what feels good and what doesn’t.

Key point: MOVE SENSITIVELY AT A SNAIL’S PACE!

#8 Communicate. Talk to your partner and read her body language. Watch her facial reactions and listen intently to her wishes. Most importantly, obey her commands. As the giver, your main responsibility is to look after the receiver. You can always encourage, but if your partner asks you to stop, then for heaven’s sake, STOP. If she tells you to slow down a bit, skip arguing and DO IT! Fisting is all about pleasuring your partner! It doesn’t make sense anymore if you are causing too much pain.

In line with this, I recommend that the receiver should do this only with someone who truly cares about her. NEVER do this with someone you cannot completely trust or someone who will not respect your limits.

Key point: KEEP EACH OTHER UPDATED DURING THE ACT.

#9 Keep it real and use a safe word. Of course, we’ve learned about “safe words” from Christian Grey and Ana Steel’s kinky sex slave story. And according to Grey, it is a word that makes it possible for a submissive to put a stop to the sex scene. Adopting this concept, the giver and the receiver must agree beforehand to use a specific safe word once the going gets tough!

A safe word must not be a common bedroom word like oooh, ouch, oops, geez, nooo, ahhh, or anything to that effect. You can make use of the word RED or POPSICLE and imagine that you are inside Grey’s Red Room of Pain. Seriously, you must choose a word that you don’t normally use while having sex.

Key point: DO NOT PLAY PRETEND. This is not another episode of Barney & Friends. If it hurts like hell then let your partner know.

#10 Enjoy. Although fisting is a serious sex act, you should still be able to enjoy the same. It might get a little painful, but it is definitely rewarding in the end. At best, it should be able to produce a special intimate connection between both parties, a more intimate bond filled with love and respect.
If you are doing this for the first time, chances are that you might not be able to go all the way. The thumb-and-knuckles thing might be too much for you to handle. But do not be discouraged if this isn’t your thing. Sex is amazing in itself with or without fisting.

#11 Do not forget to remove your hand. When you are done, glide your hand out gently and slowly without ripping her into shreds. Avoid any violent movements at all times. Again, talk to her and ask her if it hurts.

I would just like to reiterate that fisting is NOT for everyone. Some are simply NOT physically capable of doing so. But it’s not the end of the world, as there are a hundred more pleasures to enjoy together. One last piece of advice, if the situation gets out of hand, don’t be embarrassed to seek medical attention!

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But we can’t do it without YOU!

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16 Really Sexy New Year’s Resolutions for the Ladies

Why stick to boring resolutions when you can go with some sexier ones? Here’s how to make sure you’ll have hotter, better sex in the upcoming year!

While there are plenty of great reasons to take care of your health and body in the New Year, why leave out your sex life?
Grab your pad of paper and create your sexual bucket list for the next 12 months. Create your erotic checklist by yourself or with your mate.

If done with a mate, this could be a great way to open up to each other about your fantasies, wants, and needs.

You don’t have to go crazy having threesomes or sleeping with strangers, just to feel you’ve made sexual headway. Set reasonable sex goals.

While you want to push your boundaries, you wouldn’t want to purposely make yourself uncomfortable just to make yourself feel like a rejuvenated sex-kitten.

Sensual New Year’s goals to try this year

Curious what you should put on your list? Check out these sexual goals you’re sure to enjoy this year.

#1 Experiment with toys. If you’ve never tried a sex toy before, you owe it to yourself to try start experimenting immediately. There are tons of different toys out there for men and women that can be used for a shared experience or for solo fun.

Go to your local sex shop and get the attendant there to show you around. If you ask, they will usually take the toys out of their respective boxes, insert batteries when needed, and let you hold them for yourself to see how it works. For many women, sex toys will lead to some of the best orgasms they’ve ever had – so get shopping!

#2 Kiss more. Have you gotten so into the routine of diving straight into sex that your lips have been forgotten? If that’s the case, your new year definitely needs more kisses. Have make out sessions with your lover as if you were both teenagers again and practice long, passionate kisses.

#3 More foreplay. If you’ve stopped kissing before sex, then your foreplay has probably taken a nosedive, too. Work foreplay back into your sexual buffer and discover new ways to please your each other.

#4 Keep a sex diary. Nothing is more fascinating at the end of the year than doing a “Year-In” review of all the fabulous sex you’ve been having. Even if you’ve been with the same partner for years, start making diary entries of the standout love-making sessions in full detail, and then read them to your man like an erotic story at the end of the year.

#5 Be protected – always. If you’ve been in the bad habit of skipping out on protection, here’s your year to start practicing safe sex. Keep a personal, varied stash of condoms in your naughty bedside table, and get yourself a prescription for the birth control pill.

#6 Accept your body. Sexual goals don’t always have to be about your vagina. If you have an on-off/love-hate relationship with your body, make it your goal to accept your sexy self by the end of the year. This could mean making personal mantras about why you should be lovin’ all that bass and booty, or it could mean diet and exercise. Whatever your route for doing so, make it your mission to love your body by the end of the year.

#7 Make your fantasies a reality. Ever thought about getting frisky in a cab, elevator, or restaurant bathroom? Ever wanted to make your own homemade video? Ever fantasized about getting it on with a stranger? Even if you’re in a relationship, you can still make these fantasies a reality by the use of role-play. Whatever means you have to get them done, make it your goal to fulfill at least one of your sexual fantasies this year.
#8 Find your G-spot. Ever wonder what this elusive G-spot thrill zone is all about? Does it even exist? This year, find out if you fancy G-spot stimulation by experimenting with your fingers, G-spot stimulator sex toys or find it the old fashioned way with your partner’s penis. They say you find it by inserting two fingers into the vagina and performing a “come hither” motion. Do you believe in the G-spot myth? Find out this year!

#9 Explore your vagina. Think trying to find your G-spot was exploration enough? Well, for some women, looking at their own vagina is simply a “no-no.” Many women worry that their V is unattractive, so they avoid checking it out for themselves. Using a handheld mirror, explore your vagina and get to know her a little better.

#10 Make your bedroom a sex-haven. Dirty sheets and your 10-year-old clothes hamper not exactly putting you in the mood? This year, splurge for those red, satin bed sheets and that fabulous headboard and make your bedroom a place you actually desire to have sex in.

#11 Have more sex. Have you been with your partner for some time now, and find your sex is dwindling? Are your busy schedules keeping you and your mate’s sex life at a stale mate? Up the ante this year by setting sex goals for having love sessions X many times a week. Remember to make your goals attainable. You can’t expect nightly love sessions when you both work more than 40 hours a week with different shifts!

#12 Start doing Kegels. Kegel exercises are not only great for keeping your vagina tight and fabulous, but they also strengthen your control over your bladder and bowels. Simply clench the inside of your vagina, hold, and release. Continue to do this until you “feel the burn.” You can even try it while your man is inside you to completely blow his mind!

#13 Stop faking it. Make it your absolute goal to have real sex this year – no faking those orgasms! While you may not want to come out and tell your man you’ve been faking all this time, you may instead explain to him that you want to make it your goal to have more fulfilling orgasms.

Take time and let him explore your body. Use toys. Have a ton of foreplay, and really experiment with what feels good. A great tip? When you get on top, grind him instead of bouncing up and down – you’re not in a porno, ladies, you’re trying to have an orgasm.

#14 Have a fashion show. Sick of seeing your lingerie collection collecting dust in the closet? This year, instead of accepting fashion failure, try putting on a sexy fashion show for your guy and have him be your personal photographer.

#15 Dirty talk. Forget about shame and embarrassment – dirty talk is fun. If you find yourself a little on the shy side when it comes to dirty talk, try coaxing yourself out with a glass of wine beforehand. Many women also find it beneficial to have her man blindfolded when she starts her dirty monologue. Once you get past the initial awkwardness, dirty talking can be extremely empowering, not to mention a huge turn-on.

#16 Have slow, relaxing, lazy sex. Not all sex has to be a marathon run. This year, try incorporating lazy, Sunday morning sex into your routine. Try this while spooning, as it offers the least amount of effort. You’ll find that it can be just as fulfilling as your usual rough play.

Use the next 12 months to try new things and incorporate fun, scandalous items into your sexual routine. Even if your sex life is perfectly lively, there’s never any harm in making a fabulous bucket list to aspire to!

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But we can’t do it without YOU!

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10 Obvious Hints Guys Give When They Want More Space

Though he may not say it outright, a man’s actions can indicate that he needs some time away from you. Here are 10 signs that this is the case.

Most serious relationships will need a break every so often. And by break, I mean some serious soul-searching time apart like sleeping in separate rooms, taking a solo trip abroad, or moving out completely.

Many people look at this as the worst thing that could possibly happen to a couple. On the contrary, you should look at this as a way for both parties to gain some perspective and re-center yourselves.

There is nothing wrong with taking a breather. Spending some time apart will give you time to focus on what is important, while allowing you to miss each other again. Rekindling the flames of passion is just as important to a relationship as it is to be in each other’s faces all the time. More often than not, it is the man who initiates the need to spend some time apart.

Needing space does not necessarily mean that he’s cheating. It could simply mean that he needs some time off to think about stuff. Perhaps the relationship is moving too quickly for him. Perhaps he is under a lot of pressure from work. Perhaps he has unresolved family drama that needs his attention. Perhaps he just wants to zone out and catch up on video games.

How can you know if your man want some space?

Whatever his reasons are for wanting some space away from you, you need to respect his wishes if you want to keep him. No woman wants to initiate the space-giving conversation, and it is completely normal to not pay any attention to the signs that he gives off. Try not to make that mistake and just listen to what he says and does. If you have no idea what to look out for, here are 10 hints that he needs more space.

#1 He falls off the grid. Once a man falls off the grid, you know that he needs time away from you. Whether it’s not picking up your calls or ignoring your text messages, no communication is the clearest hint that you could get. This usually happens when men feel trapped.

Men can be pussies in the sense that they would rather disappear than confront you head on. This disappearing act of his may mean that he wants to leave for good, so how you react to this will greatly determine whether he stays or goes.

If you throw a hissy fit and come down hard on him, you make his decision that much easier. Try to practice understanding and empathy if this happens, and he will realize what a catch you are. Use this time away from each other to reflect on your relationship or to have some “me time.”

#2 He makes his own plans. Once your guy starts making his own plans and doesn’t confer with you, take it as a clear sign that he needs some space. When couples are in a happy and healthy relationship, there is usually no question about what is going to happen over the weekend.

It is a given that you are going to spend time together, whether it’s zoning out on the couch or heading off to the beach. When he makes his own plans, don’t go on a stalking rampage, because that’s just going to push him further away from you.

#3 He feeds you bullshit. Not literally. But like a mushroom, he feeds you shit and keeps you in the dark. Many men resort to this tactic to get their way. Whether it is lying to you and saying that he has to spend time with his mother who is visiting or that he has a ton of work to do and cannot meet up with you for the next few weeks, it is not uncommon for men to lie.

Many men do this just so they don’t have to explain the why, where, when and how to you. It is simpler to feed you a bunch of lies than to handle all your questions. If you find out that he lied to you, confront him but give him the space that he asks for. The last thing you want to do is give him a rough time right before he’s scheduled to spend time away from you.

#4 He mentions taking a break. Once your guy starts talking about the possibility of taking a break from the relationship, he is already at his wits ends and really needs space away from you. Although most men would rather resort to falling off the grid or lying to you, so that he does not have to deal with all the questions, others may just nip the problem in the bud and ask for an official break from the relationship.

Don’t panic if this happens. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to leave you, it could just mean that he is feeling overwhelmed and needs a time out. Give him some time off on the condition that he schedules a sit-down talk with you once he has had some time alone.

#5 You argue more. Once you start getting on each other’s nerves, it all goes downhill from there. If you find that you are fighting a lot more than usual, it is probably a good idea to step back. This does not mean giving into his whims of wanting to take time off from you. It simply means that you are giving your relationship the time that it needs to heal.

Giving each other some space will be great, not just for him but for you as well. Don’t stave off the importance of spending some time apart. Give yourselves the opportunity to miss one another and things will be much better when you finally decide to step back in.

#6 He’s never available. Once you find that your man is becoming less and less available, be it emotionally, physically or both, it is a clear hint that he wants his space. Not spending time with you is the simplest and most straightforward way to tell you that he would rather spend his time doing something else.

Maybe the relationship is getting too much for him to handle. Perhaps he has other things on his mind that should not concern you. Either way, leave him to his own devices to get himself together.

#7 He cancels on you way too much. Whether it is delaying that eagerly anticipated trip to the museum together or canceling on date night yet again, you can be sure that he does not want to spend time with you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. It could simply mean that he needs some personal time.

Spending time apart is not the worst thing ever as it will give you the chance to do things with your girlfriends, family or focus on yourself. That is probably just what he needs as well, so just let it be and don’t make too big a deal out of it. Ask him upfront if he needs space and if he says yes, give in to him.

#8 He never initiates plans. Similar to him being unavailable, you can tell that your guy needs space when he doesn’t make the attempt to initiate plans with you. This change should be amplified even more, if he was always the one who took the lead to plan your dates. Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just his simple way of saying that there are other things that he would like to do without you.

#9 You can feel the emotional distance. Whether you have been together long term or not, you should be able to tell when your man is feeling emotionally distant. You will sense that something is wrong, that he talks less, initiates sex less often and overall seems more impersonal. Some men just tend to shut down when they want something, but they don’t know how to ask for it. If this is the case, it may be better if you broach the subject with him first.

#10 He becomes unsettlingly honest. Some men will resort to pure honesty when they have exhausted all other options. Maybe you just couldn’t take the hint or he simply doesn’t have time to play games. In any case, you should be grateful if your man has the courage to tell you straight up that he needs more space. Commend him for it, and just let him have what he wants.

Needing space doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want to be with you. He just doesn’t want to be around you at that moment. Afterwards, he can address how he truly feels about the relationship. If he wants to go, at least he was honest. If he wants to stay, then you can truly say that absence made his heart grow fonder.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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