Long Term Relationship Poll – What Matters Most?

 

Finding someone attractive or falling in love is easy. But staying in love, and cruising through the roads of a long term relationship is the difficult part.

See this long term relationship poll to know what the Lovegirl readers had to say about what really matters most in a long term relationship.

What matters most in a long term relationship?

Long term relationship – What’s the verdict?

From what we see, a huge number of readers (65%) believe that trust and honesty is the most important factor in any long term relationship, followed by communication (17%) and chemistry (11%).

So if you really want to ensure that you and your sweetie are still holding hands while taking a walk in your eighties, then ensure that you have a lot of trust in each other, and are honest.

Lovegirl Says

We’ve always believed that trust and honesty is the most important requirement of a long term relationship, but do remember that many other factors do influence whether we trust our partners or are truthful to them. After all, if you stop communicating or start to drift apart with different interests, or find yourself attracted to someone else due to lack of chemistry, it all leads to the proverbial doom in the long term relationship.

Trust and honesty definitely is the most important factor in a long term relationship, but that doesn’t mean other things don’t count.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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What Do Guys Like in a Girl’s Appearance?

So what do guys like in a girl’s appearance? Lovegirl goes under the covers into the world of men, and tells you more about what really turns men on when they see a woman. Find out what men find attractive in women, truthfully!

So what do you think guys like in a girl more than anything else?

On a poll we conducted here at Lovepanky.com, we found a few obvious answers and a few strange answers about what men find attractive in women. Check it out!
We’ve summarized them all up just for your perusal.

What do guys and girls notice on a date?

Now these preferences may reflect what guys notice in girls all the time. But what about on a date? What do guys notice most? And what do girls notice and overlook in a guy? These facts by our experts should help you there.

So what do guys like in a girl, really? 

Do you think they reflect your preference, or do you believe some guys are just wrong in the head? But all said and done, the poll does reflect the preferences of most men, and we’ll just have to live with that.

But ears and nose too, guys, seriously? We’re confused because we just added those for fun! Perhaps, a few people do love ears, or someone other than us does have a sense of humor too when it comes to figuring out what men find attractive in women!

Rounding it all up though, what do guys like in a girl physically? The poll seems to have revealed the obvious.

Men love breasts, butt and legs.

And all three are just too close to name a clear winner though!

So clearly, what do guys like in a girl’s appearance? Perhaps, it’s to each his own. Or perhaps, no one really knows what men find attractive in women. Or just maybe, girls are just so cute as a button that guys like just about everything in a girl!

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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How to Get a Girl’s Attention Wherever You Are

Want to know how to get a girl’s attention, be it on the streets or after an introduction? Find out how to get her attention and make her like you.

 

When it comes to getting a girl’s attention, a lot depends on the first impression.

Guys have always been drawn to girls who look good and have a cheerful aura.

But girls aren’t far behind either.

While stunning looks may not be the sole criteria for a girl to like a guy, appearances do play a big part at the beginning.

How to get a girl’s attention

If you’re walking down a street or sitting in a coffee shop, and a girl walks past you, what are the first few things you notice about her?

You’d obviously notice her face, her body, her attire and the way she behaves.
Just like you, girls notice these things too.

It’s instinctive, and considering the fact that all a girl can do initially is notice you, she’s bound to judge you based on her sight, at least at first.

So if you want to know how to get a girl’s attention, you need to make sure you’re making a good impression on her. If you can do that, she’d naturally want to see more of you or get your attention too.

How to get a girl’s attention when you don’t know her

If you like a girl and want her attention but you don’t know her yet, here are eight tips that can help you get her attention, flatter her and rouse her interest in you at the same time.

#1 Be charming. You don’t need to charm her just yet. But be charming in your behavior and the way you speak to everyone else. Know your manners, speak with grace and have a warm personality. This is not something you can build in a day, but once you perfect this, you’ll be able to draw any girl to you without even trying.

#2 Don’t be dominated by anyone else. When you’re spending time out with your friends, do your friends ignore you or treat you badly? When you go out with them, do you feel low on confidence because some other guys make all the decisions? Don’t spend time with these guys.

When you’re dominated by some other guy in your group, you’ll look weaker and the girl who’s attention you’re trying to get may be more interested in your dominant friend than you.

It’s obvious. The best girl will want to be with the best guy in the room. If you’re giving another guy that power by letting him walk all over you, you’ll look like the loser while he’ll appear like the alpha male.

#3 Dress well. What’s one of the first things you notice about a girl? It’s what she’s wearing, isn’t it? Just like that, your attire is one of the first things a girl will notice about you. When you look good, all eyes are bound to turn towards you and there’s a better chance of getting a girl’s attention towards you.

#4 Groom yourself. The art of grooming is the thin line separating the average guy from a great guy. Most guys dress well, but they don’t really look or feel like a million bucks. Grooming is to a man what fine tuning is to a car engine. It’s alright by itself, but a few tweaks can make a serious difference.

Use good perfume that smells great on you when you walk past a girl, use fragrant moisturizers and hair products that make you feel rich no matter where you are. Wear a good watch and accessorize your wardrobe without overdoing it. It’s the little details that always differentiate a classy man from the average joe.

#5 Laugh and smile. Girls are attracted to happy guys. After all, happy guys make great fathers and are more fun. Be cheerful and have a sense of humor. But at the same time, respect yourself and don’t ever let anyone take you for granted. No girl would like a pushover who’s taken lightly by other guys.

#6 Have a good posture. A good posture can add several inches to your height and your confidence. Good posture is a sign of confidence. And girls just love a confident young man! Walk with a naturally straight back and feel powerful from within.

#7 Try to create eye contact. Eye contact can do a lot of great things in a budding romance. It’s the easiest way to get a girl’s attention and yet, play safe without actually walking up to her. If you learn the art of eye contact flirting, you’d be able to make her like you without even saying a word to her!

#8 Find a way to get to know her. As long as you’ve created a perfect first impression on her, she wouldn’t mind exchanging a few glances with you. Look at her now and then, and watch how she behaves. Is she reciprocating your moves? Once you see that she’s responding to your attention, read how to tell if a girl likes you to learn different moves to approach a girl depending on how she behaves around you.

How to get a girl’s attention when you know her already

If you already know the girl you like and want to get her attention, here are four tips you can use to get her attention and make her fall for you.

#1 Compliment her. Good compliments are the way to a girl’s heart. Girls never forget a genuine and appreciative compliment. If you want a girl to think of you, tell her something nice but lace it with a sexual remark.

#2 Be chivalrous around her. Behave like a real man around her. Be dependable and make her feel protected around you. When a girl feels safe around you, she’ll love spending time with you. Just a word of caution, don’t get into her friend zone by accepting all her demands or behaving like a doormat around her. Always respect yourself.

#3 Make her laugh. Build your sense of humor by having a cheerful approach towards life. You don’t have to behave like a clown though. Just be yourself and bring humor out of circumstances around you.

#4 Make her like you without asking her out. If the vibes are right, don’t ask her out or propose your love for her just yet. When you ask a girl to go out with you, you’re putting her in a spot. And once you pop the question, there is no turning back. If she’s not ready to date you for some reason, she may even end up avoiding you or feeling awkward around you. Instead, focus on making her fall in love with you first.

Once you understand what really matters when it comes to making a great impression, knowing how to get a girl’s attention wherever you are will come naturally, just as long as you remember these tips.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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Cheating in a Relationship

Can you really define cheating in a relationship? As complex as the feeling of love may be, affairs and cheating in a relationship are just as complicated, says Roberto Rossi. But who defines cheating, and what constitutes cheating in a relationship?

 

Cheating in a relationship is funny business. Painful, most definitely, but it’s extremely hilarious to watch from a third person’s view.

Have you seen how relationships change with time?

And have you noticed how we twist our own promises to our lovers to suit our needs as time passes by?

You kissed someone else because you assumed your partner was cheating? Or did you sleep with another person because your partner just wasn’t showing you any affection?

Is that cheating, or is that just changing with the circumstances?

Cheating in a relationship

More often than not, things can sometimes be lost in translation when it comes to your relationship with a loved one. Without clear boundaries set, it’s even more likely that relationships won’t last past the initial honeymoon period.

It seems nowadays you can’t even fart or sneeze without your loved one having opinions about it. Why is this happening?

Only god knows, but as couples become more and more immersed into each other’s daily lives, problems seem to be occurring left, right and centre!

Just think about it for a moment. Have you been in a situation where the doubt of infidelity has been so small and so insignificant, but in the end you ended up having a row with your partner and probably took a few days to resolve it while the dust settled?

Have you been in that situation when in looking at what is positive in the relationship, you instead focus on the negative? There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s up to you to find the torch that can take you there.

Cheating and our own views

Cheating in a relationship can be a confusing affair. Recently, a friend of mine came to me with a dilemma. His girlfriend had left him because he often sent text messages to a female colleague from his workplace.

This girl from work would call him occasionally to talk, to gossip, etc. His girlfriend came to him concerned, and even after he had comforted her over a few glasses of Portuguese Rose, she came right back at him with the sucker punch, “but you always see her at work, why do you need to talk to her even when you’re home?”

His response was somber, and there wasn’t much he could have said back, other than “she’s a friend who likes to talk, what’s wrong with that?” Of course, some level of flirtation probably took place, but let’s be big boys and girls here, who doesn’t flirt in life?

Infidelity creates its own circumstances

As a few months went by, a one-off, random office drinks party ended with my friend and his workmate sharing a kiss. Of course, my tone changed. But in the end, I felt this couple had a lot more going for them then, to allow a stupid kiss to get in the way.

Three years together, and a stupid kiss could ruin all of that? Who hasn’t done something stupid which they come to regret, or rather forget? But this is it. When he felt guilty about it and told his girlfriend about the kiss, she was obviously pissed off. But she went one step further. She told him she always knew there was something going on between them.

Fair enough, I thought. She was well entitled to believe that something could come from this because they had locked lips.

But it was her failure to reflect on their relationship to understand that such a scenario was always a miniscule event in a wider picture. She assumed that that one kiss had started an entire illicit relationship between her man and the woman from work, and she just wasn’t ready to accept that perhaps, just maybe, it was an unfortunate event that happened by accident. It could happen to any of us.

Becoming the unfaithful one

Anyone can fall prey to such accidents, given the circumstances and chances of timing. No one’s a saint and no one’s a sinner if you really weigh the circumstances.

But as the American actor Henry Winkler once said, “assumptions are the termites of relationships.” They eat at you and your partner, and in the end, just like a termite loves to grind down on wood, the termite assumption eats at the tree you and your partner have grown together.

When is it cheating?

In today’s world, it seems that everything shared between a partner and a friend of the opposite gender is cheating. Absurd, right? Wrong.

You will be surprised at the amount of cases where relationships have ended over the most miniscule of things. With respect to sexual infidelity, cheating is only cheating if, ladies, you happen to walk into your room to find some butt naked chicka playing with your fella’s nuts (and I’m not talking about food here).
Alternatively, cheating is only cheating if men, you happen to find your lady with her panties in a twist with another man. Well, unless you’re talking about emotional affairs.

Anything is remotely possible today. Think back about my friend, his example is exactly what is killing the average American relationship of a twenty or thirty something year old. We, as humans, are drawn in by our assumptions of situations without allowing ourselves to reflect on the positives. Sounds familiar?

But I hear you saying out loud ‘what could be positive from my partner kissing someone else?’

Well firstly, it’s not as if they slept with them. They didn’t share a night of passion that they would normally have shared with you. Secondly, if you know about it, either they have told you themselves or you’ve found out yourself, but that doesn’t mean they are going to do it again.

If they do, then, of course it’s cheating in a relationship. But what if it happened in the heat of the moment, a onetime thing? It really could happen to any of us!

Defining cheating in love

The definition of cheating in a relationship is changing with the times. Most relationships end when either one of the individuals involved does the unthinkable. They cheat.

In the U.S. alone, one in three marriages now ends in divorce, and a lot is put down to infidelity issues. In a recent national survey, twenty two percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives, while fourteen percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives. And that’s the number of people that confessed to their deed! Can you even begin to think of the number of secret affairs going on right this minute?

During the 1950’s and 1960’s, cheating was seen as a pass-time. Both genders could openly do more things and people, but today is different.

With the techno-advanced twenty first century, all forms of communication are a blessing to us. We text, email, have mobiles, and interact much more. Socially, we are freer in more ways than ever before, but in trying to be a free spirit like a character out of a Paulo Coelho book, we cause ourselves harm too. The more we interact, the more problems we get into, and more temptations we come across.

So what is cheating?

When one talks about cheating in a relationship, some may think of a lover banging someone else. But as I said, times have changed. Flirting, kissing, cyber-sex, text-sex, email-sex, facebook-sex, even looking at the opposite sex is considering cheating! Forgive me, maybe I just won’t look at beauty the next time it passes me by.

Seriously though, because people have different opinions about what’s considered cheating, it’s up to you and your partner to decide what the “ground rules” are for the relationship.

What constitutes an act of infidelity varies between and within cultures and depends also on the type of relationship that exists between people. Even within an open relationship, infidelity may arise if a partner in the relationship acts outside of the understood boundaries of the relationship.

Many people agree that there are six basic qualities to healthy, loving relationships. Respect, trust, honesty, fairness, equality, and good communication. Everyone is different when it comes to dating rules, so people should sit down with their partners and agree on what counts as cheating in their relationships.

Discussing these details, however uncomfortable they may seem, is actually the best way to create boundaries in love and avoid cheating in a relationship.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!

 

11 Profound Relationship Quotes Anyone Can Relate To

Looking for the perfect quote to summarize your current relationship predicament? Here are 11 of the most profound ones that are sure to inspire you! 

 

Sometimes, the bad can overshadow all the good there is in your relationship, and all you can seem to think about is how unhappy you are with your partner.

This is especially true if something big happens to you such as infidelity, a problem that’s slowly getting out of hand or major life changes. As morose as this may sound, try to remember that as bad as things are now, they can always get worse.

Do remember, however, that they can also become better with the right mindset and a whole lot of effort. The effort is your share of work. As for the mindset, we’ve got a couple of interesting and enlightening quotes that may help you regain a mental foothold on what to do with your relationship.

Relationship quotes to help you through a rough patch

Forget about trawling the internet for tips on how to be happy in your love life. The relationship quotes below will be enough to get you through even the darkest of hours.

Nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it, after all. With the help of these 11 bits of advice that are fashioned into quotes, you may just be able to find your way into the light sooner than you think.

#1 “Choose to be happy.” -Anonymous

Like everything else in life, happiness is a choice. No matter how down in the dumps you are, you can always look at the bright side to see that things aren’t as bad as you think. There is happiness and joy in your relationship, if you look hard enough. And once you see it, you may learn that this little spark of joy is worth fighting for.

#2 “Be the hero in your story.” -Anonymous

It’s your life and you should play the starring role. Once you realize that you are the hero in your own story, you will be empowered to be the best version of yourself. With this comes confidence, and with confidence comes respect for yourself. As with heroes you see in movies, you can overcome just about any obstacle in your own way, particularly those you’re facing in your relationship. Go forth and thrive!

#3 “People change, but they don’t change much.” -Anonymous

Remember this quote when you are in a tough spot trying to decide if you should stay in your relationship or leave. For example, you may have an abusive husband who promises repeatedly that he will change and never hit you again. The same goes to your wife who was caught cheating more than once.
Always remember that people are capable of change, but only up to a certain point. As kind as it is to give your loved one yet another chance, think twice before doing so.

#4 “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” -Anthony Robbins

When you are happy and healthy, your relationships will thrive. Expel toxic people from your life, eat healthy and add exercise into your daily schedule. When your body looks and feels good, so will your mind. Once your mind is happy, you will find that the quality of your relationships, not just with your spouse, but with everyone around you, will significantly improve.

#5 “Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings.” -Miles Franklin

This quote should resonate with those who believe in the importance of maintaining a healthy and communicative relationship with their partners. Being able to communicate with one another is supremely important, if you want to make your love life work.

Whether it’s happy or sad news, don’t bottle everything up inside, as the weight will take its toll on you. When you are able to communicate freely with your partner, your relationship will develop into something far more meaningful than one built on just lust and passion.

#6 “Once you figure out the why, you can tolerate any how.” -Jillian Michaels

Although this quote was made to motivate people to lose weight, there is no denying that it can be applied to multiple facets of your relationship. Whether you’re with someone for the companionship or you’re staying strong to make a long distance relationship work, figuring out why you want to stay is the first step towards overall improvement. The human mind is a wonderful tool and the thoughts that you have can be channeled towards make you a stronger, happier and more successful individual.

#7 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

If you’re stuck in an unhappy relationship, think of this quote. Never let anyone, especially your significant other, bring you down. The only reason you’re being brought down is because you allow yourself to stay with a person who treats you that way. When you find it within yourself to resist the pressure they put down on you, you can stand up for yourself and find the strength to walk away.

#8 “Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Whether it’s something as menial as your husband leaving the toilet seat up or something heavy like your wife having a slip up with her boss, you have to learn to forgive. Forgive your spouse for the small stuff, and forget about the whole ordeal, because at the end of the day, life is too short to be spent brooding over the little things.

However, forgiveness does not mean letting the heavy stuff go and pretending like they never happened. It just means that you need to rise above it all, work through it and be strong enough to do the right thing.

#9 “Intense love does not measure, it just gives.” -Mother Teresa

When you love someone, there has to be a whole lot of giving. Give your time, love and loyalty only to those who are worthy. No matter what, always remember that being in a relationship is a two way street, and that your spouse should be living by this mantra as well. If you are the only one taking this quote to heart, then maybe you should start considering finding someone who can reciprocate.

#10 “Assumptions are the termites of relationships” -Henry Winkler

Assuming something before confirming it only serves to make you jump to conclusions. When you’ve preemptively put a thought in your head, it can be nigh on impossible to get it out. Whether that assumption is a wayward spouse or an unhappy partner, the conclusion you’ve jumped to can eat away both at your mind and your relationship. Always confirm before you make assumptions, because those assumptions have a nasty habit of turning into accusations.

#11 “We cannot really love anyone with whom we never laugh” -Agnes Repplier

This quote should remind you to always have fun with the one you’re with. Being able to laugh and share joy with your spouse is perhaps one of the most important parts of making a marriage work. When the money, the looks, the prestige and all those things are gone, you can always fall back on the joy and laughter you find in each other.

Quotes are a great way to remember important life lessons in the way of eloquent words. The next time you feel like you need some sagely relationship wisdom from those who have a penchant for inspiring prose, these quotes will be able to help you through your predicament.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.

But we can’t do it without YOU!

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5 Signs You’re Addicted and 15 Ways to Get Over Porn!

Having trouble with your porn addiction? Use these 15 tips on how to stop watching porn and get your life back in order by dealing with the addiction. 

 

Do you hate the amount of time you spend watching porn every day?
Watching porn isn’t wrong if you’re old enough.

And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
But if you feel like it’s taking away a lot of your time and you’re left frustrated as soon as you finish the deed, here’s what you need to do to get your furious hands under control and wean yourself off the habit over time.

How to stop watching porn

Most of us have had our own ways to deal with this issue at some point in our lives.
While it’s easy to wean the habit away for most guys, a few guys may have a harder time dealing with porn and boredom than other guys.

If you feel like you have a problem with the porn addiction, use these 15 tips on how to stop watching porn all the time. It’ll definitely help you.

#1 Try to finish yourself off as soon as possible. The biggest drain of being addicted to porn is the amount of time it sucks out of your life. Porn can be fascinating and you’ll never realize how fast time flies. Instead of avoiding watching porn completely, learn to finish yourself off quickly.

#2 Limit your videos. Give yourself a set number of porn videos to watch per day before you shut your device for the night. Don’t exceed the number of videos though. Finish yourself off even if you don’t like what you’re watching.

#3 Keep yourself busy. Don’t be idle. It’s the easiest way to avoid spending too much time watching porn.

#4 Get a girlfriend. This is a cliché because several men who are happily married too are addicted to porn. Get a girlfriend or try to divert your porn interest to your partner.

#5 Watch so much that you get sick of it. Beat yourself off so many times over a weekend that you feel sick and tired of it. It may not work all the time, but at times, overindulgence can actually help you beat the habit.

#6 You need a distraction. Every time you feel like masturbating, do something else you like that involves your attention.

#7 Have sex and watch porn at the same time. If you have a partner and are still having a hard time dealing with the porn addiction, watch it together with your partner and have sex at the same time. It’ll help you have a better sex life and beat the addiction at the same time.

#8 Play games on your console instead. Guys love playing games. It keeps you involved and distracted at the same time. And with the adrenalin buzz of a good game, you may end up feeling tired after an involving game and have little energy left in your hands.

#9 Don’t spend too much time alone. Lonely time is fun time for a guy who watches too much porn. Avoid isolating yourself in your room. Meet your friends, or step out of the house for a while when you feel like watching porn.

#10 Time yourself. If you’re frustrated by the amount of time you lose every day on porn, learn to time yourself. Give yourself 15 to 20 minutes for the first few days and reduce that time to a few minutes after that. You’ll save time and experience less sexual satisfaction through porn.

#11 Masturbate to a few boring videos. You enjoy porn because it feels good. If the excitement that you’re building up starts to wear off, so will your addiction.

#12 Restrict yourself to one porn website per week. By the end of the week, if you’re a quick porn surfer looking for the best of sex, you’ll run out of good videos that you enjoy in a week.

#13 Avoid your favorite obsessions. Do you like drunk sex, violation, fetishes, moresomes, lesbians, etc. Go for the typical one on one. It’ll be mildly exciting and eventually, you’ll get bored of watching the same routine all the time.

#14 Limit the hands in the pants. Limit your whacking off to once a day, or a maximum of twice a day. Do it in the morning and at night. You can take porn off your mind for the rest of your day. Slowly wean yourself off and reduce it to just once a day by distracting yourself eventually. If your little man can’t stand up because he’s done for the day already, you can learn to ignore him.

#15 It’s just a phase. It’ll pass. We’ve all been there. Especially if you’re a teenager, it’s not easy to control that thing in your pants. Try to avoid it, but don’t be ashamed or hate yourself for it. Unless you’ve been having issues with this problem for more than a few years, just use these steps. It’ll definitely work for you as long as you’re determined.

Signs you’re watching too much porn

So how do you know you’re watching too much porn in the first place? Here are five signs you need to watch out for. After all, denial is never a good enough excuse.

#1 You don’t have time for anything else. If you spend every minute alone in front of a computer watching porn, there’s a good chance you’re addicted to it.

#2 If you’re frustrated as soon as you come to your senses. You may enjoy your dingdong in your hands on against your mattress while you’re watching porn. But as soon as you’re done, do you feel frustrated or hate yourself for doing it? Perhaps it’s time to restrict the habit.

#3 If you feel helpless all the time. You don’t have a choice. You just love porn and are addicted to it. You miss porn more than anything else, and your hands itch to type a few adult websites in your browser when no one’s around.

#4 You can’t wait to get some alone time. You love spending time by yourself so you can jack off. While most people hate being alone for too long, you can’t wait to get some alone time with your porn collection.

#5 You spend more than an hour a day watching porn. Men and women watch porn, but they do it within limitations. Do you spend several hours a day watching sexy things on your computer? Chances are, you’re either a porn addict or are on the verge of becoming one.

If you want to wean yourself off the porn addiction and want to know how to stop watching porn, just use these 15 tips. With a bit of determination, you would be able to end the habit in a few weeks.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

Did this feature help you better yourself or your relationship?
You can change someone else’s life too!

 

11 Tips to Make Vaginal Fisting Safer and Sexier

Vaginal fisting may seem like something only porn stars would do. But you may be surprised that it can bring a whole lot of fun to your sex life. 

 

Caveat Emptor: Everything I’ve written below is merely based on my personal experience and research. I am by no means an expert on this. I’m sure you also have something fabulous to share with us. Come back here and tell us about your own fisting journey.

People flinch in fear whenever they hear the controversial sexual act called fisting, while some even consider this as a cultural taboo. Most think that fisting is insanely improbable, dangerously risky and overly intense, in a negative way. In fact, fisting was banned from web porn in UK due to its “life endangering” implications.

The mere sound of the word “fisting” will probably make the conservatives scream something like, “WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT ANYBODY TO PUT THEIR WHOLE HAND IN YOU?”

Nevertheless, I’d say that any sexual acts, whether it is fisting, face sitting, fingering or scissoring, if not done properly can all result in discomfort, severe pain or injury, just the same. In contrast, when it is done correctly, fisting can be intimately exciting and pleasurable too!

What is fisting?

Fisting is an urban term for the sex act of inserting a hand inside a vagina for sexual gratification. Please stop rolling your eyes at me, lesbos! Of course, it is possible to get your entire hand inside a pussy! If an 8-pound baby fits in there like a glove, so can your hand!

Other names for fisting include fist f*cking, pussy fisting, punch f*cking and lesbian fisting. It is so called fisting mainly because as you progress in doing this so-called forbidden sex act, your hand will fold into the shape of a fist as it passes through the vaginal passage, hence its interesting name.

However, let it be known that although fisting can be the most erotic sexual experience anyone can have, it is still not for everyone. Not all women are as roomy down there and flexible as porn stars. Thus, it will be very difficult to fist a woman who is pretty tight as this would absolutely entail pains and tears here and there.

So, for those who are not sure about the size of their “lady gardens” but are dying to give it a try, just remember that the human vagina is elastic enough to withstand parturition several times. But since fisting is supposed to be satisfying and enjoyable despite some initial pain, if it hurts badly, STOP.

How can you make fisting more enjoyable?

Here are some fisting tips that may serve as your guide. Happy fisting everyone!

#1 Set your mind. Determine whether you and your partner are both ready for this intense sex act. Talk about it before having it, and hear each other’s views about the whole fisting thing. If you don’t want to, then tell your partner that you need more time. If you are scared, let your partner know that you are. The decision must be mutual.

Key point: DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING! This one is non-negotiable!

#2 Grease the skids! Prepare yourself by learning more about fisting. There are plenty of resources available online and in print that you can use to inform yourself about the dos and don’ts of fisting. If you are a visual learner, I suggest you watch more lesbian porn or attend workshops to equip yourself with the proper way of doing it. If you are up for the challenge, raise your arm if the lecturer asks for a volunteer during demonstration!

Key point: NEVER DIVE IN UNPREPARED!

#3 Keep everything squeaky clean. If you are the giver, you should make sure that your fingernails are short and without any sharp edges, to reduce the chance of any rips or tears. Your hands must also be as clean as it can be to reduce the possibility of infection. When I say clean, it means it must be washed and free from any jewellery or hand accessories that might hurt or get stuck in the process. There’s no such thing as fashion fisting anyway. If you are the receiver, just make sure your lady parts are pristine.

Key point: THE CLEANER THE BETTER!

#4 Wear a glove. Putting on a latex glove may not be very appealing to everyone. Some find gloves, just like condoms, a total mood buster, while others simply tend to forget once everything starts to heat up. Regardless of your take on this, I’d say wearing one is the responsible approach to fisting. It acts as an added layer of protection against sexually transmitted disease plus it makes your hand smoother and slicker like jell-o, providing ease of access.

Key point: PRACTICE SAFER SEX, WEAR A COVER.

#5 Foreplay like there’s no tomorrow. Extreme arousal is necessary before one can successfully penetrate a vagina with a hand. The receiver must be very relaxed and highly aroused in order for the vaginal walls to expand and the muscles to loosen up to accommodate a fist. So, stimulate your partner in any way possible. Do whatever works to keep the recipient wet and sexually turned on. Be patient and do not rush into insertion.

Key point: GET YOUR GIRL RANDY!

#6 Use a lot of quality lube. Always lubricate, even if you think you can make her secrete enough lube on her own. Be generous in applying lube, if you think you’ve had enough, apply a little extra just to be sure. I suggest you use a water based lube or those that are specially formulated for fisting. Do not use oil based lubes. Oil based lubes and latex gloves are bad combinations as the former weakens the latex, making it futile to use one.

Key point: ALWAYS LUBE UP.

#7 Go gently and slowly. Do not attempt to plunge in your entire hand at once. Fisting is a marathon, not a sprint! Start with one or two fingers, and then slowly add another, and then another until the fourth finger is in. The giver must also feel relaxed while doing this. I repeat, go S-L-O-W-L-Y and C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y, as if you are playing pick-up-sticks in the World Cup. Fuse your fingers together to form a small stretched duck shape so your fingers are as compressed together as possible.
Ordinarily, the thumb and the knuckles are the toughest part to get past. In order to do this, the receiver must be EXTREMELY aroused. Again, lubricate! Do not be in a hurry and give her time to adjust before placing in your thumb and your palm all together. Once the receiver is comfortable with four fingers inside, tuck your thumb under your palm and slowly press on until your knuckles are inside. If you get past this point, your hand will naturally curl into a fist. Otherwise, retreat and take a short break.

It’s okay, take it easy. Once everything is inside, you can turn your wrist or move your hand up and down subtly to produce stimulating sensations. No wild f*cking and pumping! You’re not filming a porn movie! To be safe, make it a habit to ask what feels good and what doesn’t.

Key point: MOVE SENSITIVELY AT A SNAIL’S PACE!

#8 Communicate. Talk to your partner and read her body language. Watch her facial reactions and listen intently to her wishes. Most importantly, obey her commands. As the giver, your main responsibility is to look after the receiver. You can always encourage, but if your partner asks you to stop, then for heaven’s sake, STOP. If she tells you to slow down a bit, skip arguing and DO IT! Fisting is all about pleasuring your partner! It doesn’t make sense anymore if you are causing too much pain.

In line with this, I recommend that the receiver should do this only with someone who truly cares about her. NEVER do this with someone you cannot completely trust or someone who will not respect your limits.

Key point: KEEP EACH OTHER UPDATED DURING THE ACT.

#9 Keep it real and use a safe word. Of course, we’ve learned about “safe words” from Christian Grey and Ana Steel’s kinky sex slave story. And according to Grey, it is a word that makes it possible for a submissive to put a stop to the sex scene. Adopting this concept, the giver and the receiver must agree beforehand to use a specific safe word once the going gets tough!

A safe word must not be a common bedroom word like oooh, ouch, oops, geez, nooo, ahhh, or anything to that effect. You can make use of the word RED or POPSICLE and imagine that you are inside Grey’s Red Room of Pain. Seriously, you must choose a word that you don’t normally use while having sex.

Key point: DO NOT PLAY PRETEND. This is not another episode of Barney & Friends. If it hurts like hell then let your partner know.

#10 Enjoy. Although fisting is a serious sex act, you should still be able to enjoy the same. It might get a little painful, but it is definitely rewarding in the end. At best, it should be able to produce a special intimate connection between both parties, a more intimate bond filled with love and respect.
If you are doing this for the first time, chances are that you might not be able to go all the way. The thumb-and-knuckles thing might be too much for you to handle. But do not be discouraged if this isn’t your thing. Sex is amazing in itself with or without fisting.

#11 Do not forget to remove your hand. When you are done, glide your hand out gently and slowly without ripping her into shreds. Avoid any violent movements at all times. Again, talk to her and ask her if it hurts.

I would just like to reiterate that fisting is NOT for everyone. Some are simply NOT physically capable of doing so. But it’s not the end of the world, as there are a hundred more pleasures to enjoy together. One last piece of advice, if the situation gets out of hand, don’t be embarrassed to seek medical attention!

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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16 Really Sexy New Year’s Resolutions for the Ladies

Why stick to boring resolutions when you can go with some sexier ones? Here’s how to make sure you’ll have hotter, better sex in the upcoming year!

While there are plenty of great reasons to take care of your health and body in the New Year, why leave out your sex life?
Grab your pad of paper and create your sexual bucket list for the next 12 months. Create your erotic checklist by yourself or with your mate.

If done with a mate, this could be a great way to open up to each other about your fantasies, wants, and needs.

You don’t have to go crazy having threesomes or sleeping with strangers, just to feel you’ve made sexual headway. Set reasonable sex goals.

While you want to push your boundaries, you wouldn’t want to purposely make yourself uncomfortable just to make yourself feel like a rejuvenated sex-kitten.

Sensual New Year’s goals to try this year

Curious what you should put on your list? Check out these sexual goals you’re sure to enjoy this year.

#1 Experiment with toys. If you’ve never tried a sex toy before, you owe it to yourself to try start experimenting immediately. There are tons of different toys out there for men and women that can be used for a shared experience or for solo fun.

Go to your local sex shop and get the attendant there to show you around. If you ask, they will usually take the toys out of their respective boxes, insert batteries when needed, and let you hold them for yourself to see how it works. For many women, sex toys will lead to some of the best orgasms they’ve ever had – so get shopping!

#2 Kiss more. Have you gotten so into the routine of diving straight into sex that your lips have been forgotten? If that’s the case, your new year definitely needs more kisses. Have make out sessions with your lover as if you were both teenagers again and practice long, passionate kisses.

#3 More foreplay. If you’ve stopped kissing before sex, then your foreplay has probably taken a nosedive, too. Work foreplay back into your sexual buffer and discover new ways to please your each other.

#4 Keep a sex diary. Nothing is more fascinating at the end of the year than doing a “Year-In” review of all the fabulous sex you’ve been having. Even if you’ve been with the same partner for years, start making diary entries of the standout love-making sessions in full detail, and then read them to your man like an erotic story at the end of the year.

#5 Be protected – always. If you’ve been in the bad habit of skipping out on protection, here’s your year to start practicing safe sex. Keep a personal, varied stash of condoms in your naughty bedside table, and get yourself a prescription for the birth control pill.

#6 Accept your body. Sexual goals don’t always have to be about your vagina. If you have an on-off/love-hate relationship with your body, make it your goal to accept your sexy self by the end of the year. This could mean making personal mantras about why you should be lovin’ all that bass and booty, or it could mean diet and exercise. Whatever your route for doing so, make it your mission to love your body by the end of the year.

#7 Make your fantasies a reality. Ever thought about getting frisky in a cab, elevator, or restaurant bathroom? Ever wanted to make your own homemade video? Ever fantasized about getting it on with a stranger? Even if you’re in a relationship, you can still make these fantasies a reality by the use of role-play. Whatever means you have to get them done, make it your goal to fulfill at least one of your sexual fantasies this year.
#8 Find your G-spot. Ever wonder what this elusive G-spot thrill zone is all about? Does it even exist? This year, find out if you fancy G-spot stimulation by experimenting with your fingers, G-spot stimulator sex toys or find it the old fashioned way with your partner’s penis. They say you find it by inserting two fingers into the vagina and performing a “come hither” motion. Do you believe in the G-spot myth? Find out this year!

#9 Explore your vagina. Think trying to find your G-spot was exploration enough? Well, for some women, looking at their own vagina is simply a “no-no.” Many women worry that their V is unattractive, so they avoid checking it out for themselves. Using a handheld mirror, explore your vagina and get to know her a little better.

#10 Make your bedroom a sex-haven. Dirty sheets and your 10-year-old clothes hamper not exactly putting you in the mood? This year, splurge for those red, satin bed sheets and that fabulous headboard and make your bedroom a place you actually desire to have sex in.

#11 Have more sex. Have you been with your partner for some time now, and find your sex is dwindling? Are your busy schedules keeping you and your mate’s sex life at a stale mate? Up the ante this year by setting sex goals for having love sessions X many times a week. Remember to make your goals attainable. You can’t expect nightly love sessions when you both work more than 40 hours a week with different shifts!

#12 Start doing Kegels. Kegel exercises are not only great for keeping your vagina tight and fabulous, but they also strengthen your control over your bladder and bowels. Simply clench the inside of your vagina, hold, and release. Continue to do this until you “feel the burn.” You can even try it while your man is inside you to completely blow his mind!

#13 Stop faking it. Make it your absolute goal to have real sex this year – no faking those orgasms! While you may not want to come out and tell your man you’ve been faking all this time, you may instead explain to him that you want to make it your goal to have more fulfilling orgasms.

Take time and let him explore your body. Use toys. Have a ton of foreplay, and really experiment with what feels good. A great tip? When you get on top, grind him instead of bouncing up and down – you’re not in a porno, ladies, you’re trying to have an orgasm.

#14 Have a fashion show. Sick of seeing your lingerie collection collecting dust in the closet? This year, instead of accepting fashion failure, try putting on a sexy fashion show for your guy and have him be your personal photographer.

#15 Dirty talk. Forget about shame and embarrassment – dirty talk is fun. If you find yourself a little on the shy side when it comes to dirty talk, try coaxing yourself out with a glass of wine beforehand. Many women also find it beneficial to have her man blindfolded when she starts her dirty monologue. Once you get past the initial awkwardness, dirty talking can be extremely empowering, not to mention a huge turn-on.

#16 Have slow, relaxing, lazy sex. Not all sex has to be a marathon run. This year, try incorporating lazy, Sunday morning sex into your routine. Try this while spooning, as it offers the least amount of effort. You’ll find that it can be just as fulfilling as your usual rough play.

Use the next 12 months to try new things and incorporate fun, scandalous items into your sexual routine. Even if your sex life is perfectly lively, there’s never any harm in making a fabulous bucket list to aspire to!

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But we can’t do it without YOU!

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10 Obvious Hints Guys Give When They Want More Space

Though he may not say it outright, a man’s actions can indicate that he needs some time away from you. Here are 10 signs that this is the case.

Most serious relationships will need a break every so often. And by break, I mean some serious soul-searching time apart like sleeping in separate rooms, taking a solo trip abroad, or moving out completely.

Many people look at this as the worst thing that could possibly happen to a couple. On the contrary, you should look at this as a way for both parties to gain some perspective and re-center yourselves.

There is nothing wrong with taking a breather. Spending some time apart will give you time to focus on what is important, while allowing you to miss each other again. Rekindling the flames of passion is just as important to a relationship as it is to be in each other’s faces all the time. More often than not, it is the man who initiates the need to spend some time apart.

Needing space does not necessarily mean that he’s cheating. It could simply mean that he needs some time off to think about stuff. Perhaps the relationship is moving too quickly for him. Perhaps he is under a lot of pressure from work. Perhaps he has unresolved family drama that needs his attention. Perhaps he just wants to zone out and catch up on video games.

How can you know if your man want some space?

Whatever his reasons are for wanting some space away from you, you need to respect his wishes if you want to keep him. No woman wants to initiate the space-giving conversation, and it is completely normal to not pay any attention to the signs that he gives off. Try not to make that mistake and just listen to what he says and does. If you have no idea what to look out for, here are 10 hints that he needs more space.

#1 He falls off the grid. Once a man falls off the grid, you know that he needs time away from you. Whether it’s not picking up your calls or ignoring your text messages, no communication is the clearest hint that you could get. This usually happens when men feel trapped.

Men can be pussies in the sense that they would rather disappear than confront you head on. This disappearing act of his may mean that he wants to leave for good, so how you react to this will greatly determine whether he stays or goes.

If you throw a hissy fit and come down hard on him, you make his decision that much easier. Try to practice understanding and empathy if this happens, and he will realize what a catch you are. Use this time away from each other to reflect on your relationship or to have some “me time.”

#2 He makes his own plans. Once your guy starts making his own plans and doesn’t confer with you, take it as a clear sign that he needs some space. When couples are in a happy and healthy relationship, there is usually no question about what is going to happen over the weekend.

It is a given that you are going to spend time together, whether it’s zoning out on the couch or heading off to the beach. When he makes his own plans, don’t go on a stalking rampage, because that’s just going to push him further away from you.

#3 He feeds you bullshit. Not literally. But like a mushroom, he feeds you shit and keeps you in the dark. Many men resort to this tactic to get their way. Whether it is lying to you and saying that he has to spend time with his mother who is visiting or that he has a ton of work to do and cannot meet up with you for the next few weeks, it is not uncommon for men to lie.

Many men do this just so they don’t have to explain the why, where, when and how to you. It is simpler to feed you a bunch of lies than to handle all your questions. If you find out that he lied to you, confront him but give him the space that he asks for. The last thing you want to do is give him a rough time right before he’s scheduled to spend time away from you.

#4 He mentions taking a break. Once your guy starts talking about the possibility of taking a break from the relationship, he is already at his wits ends and really needs space away from you. Although most men would rather resort to falling off the grid or lying to you, so that he does not have to deal with all the questions, others may just nip the problem in the bud and ask for an official break from the relationship.

Don’t panic if this happens. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to leave you, it could just mean that he is feeling overwhelmed and needs a time out. Give him some time off on the condition that he schedules a sit-down talk with you once he has had some time alone.

#5 You argue more. Once you start getting on each other’s nerves, it all goes downhill from there. If you find that you are fighting a lot more than usual, it is probably a good idea to step back. This does not mean giving into his whims of wanting to take time off from you. It simply means that you are giving your relationship the time that it needs to heal.

Giving each other some space will be great, not just for him but for you as well. Don’t stave off the importance of spending some time apart. Give yourselves the opportunity to miss one another and things will be much better when you finally decide to step back in.

#6 He’s never available. Once you find that your man is becoming less and less available, be it emotionally, physically or both, it is a clear hint that he wants his space. Not spending time with you is the simplest and most straightforward way to tell you that he would rather spend his time doing something else.

Maybe the relationship is getting too much for him to handle. Perhaps he has other things on his mind that should not concern you. Either way, leave him to his own devices to get himself together.

#7 He cancels on you way too much. Whether it is delaying that eagerly anticipated trip to the museum together or canceling on date night yet again, you can be sure that he does not want to spend time with you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. It could simply mean that he needs some personal time.

Spending time apart is not the worst thing ever as it will give you the chance to do things with your girlfriends, family or focus on yourself. That is probably just what he needs as well, so just let it be and don’t make too big a deal out of it. Ask him upfront if he needs space and if he says yes, give in to him.

#8 He never initiates plans. Similar to him being unavailable, you can tell that your guy needs space when he doesn’t make the attempt to initiate plans with you. This change should be amplified even more, if he was always the one who took the lead to plan your dates. Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just his simple way of saying that there are other things that he would like to do without you.

#9 You can feel the emotional distance. Whether you have been together long term or not, you should be able to tell when your man is feeling emotionally distant. You will sense that something is wrong, that he talks less, initiates sex less often and overall seems more impersonal. Some men just tend to shut down when they want something, but they don’t know how to ask for it. If this is the case, it may be better if you broach the subject with him first.

#10 He becomes unsettlingly honest. Some men will resort to pure honesty when they have exhausted all other options. Maybe you just couldn’t take the hint or he simply doesn’t have time to play games. In any case, you should be grateful if your man has the courage to tell you straight up that he needs more space. Commend him for it, and just let him have what he wants.

Needing space doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t want to be with you. He just doesn’t want to be around you at that moment. Afterwards, he can address how he truly feels about the relationship. If he wants to go, at least he was honest. If he wants to stay, then you can truly say that absence made his heart grow fonder.

We’re trying hard to create better relationships in the world.
But we can’t do it without YOU!

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