Vaginal fisting may seem like something only porn stars would do. But you may be surprised that it can bring a whole lot of fun to your sex life.
Caveat Emptor: Everything I’ve written below is merely based on my personal experience and research. I am by no means an expert on this. I’m sure you also have something fabulous to share with us. Come back here and tell us about your own fisting journey.
People flinch in fear whenever they hear the controversial sexual act called fisting, while some even consider this as a cultural taboo. Most think that fisting is insanely improbable, dangerously risky and overly intense, in a negative way. In fact, fisting was banned from web porn in UK due to its “life endangering” implications.
The mere sound of the word “fisting” will probably make the conservatives scream something like, “WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT ANYBODY TO PUT THEIR WHOLE HAND IN YOU?”
Nevertheless, I’d say that any sexual acts, whether it is fisting, face sitting, fingering or scissoring, if not done properly can all result in discomfort, severe pain or injury, just the same. In contrast, when it is done correctly, fisting can be intimately exciting and pleasurable too!
What is fisting?
Fisting is an urban term for the sex act of inserting a hand inside a vagina for sexual gratification. Please stop rolling your eyes at me, lesbos! Of course, it is possible to get your entire hand inside a pussy! If an 8-pound baby fits in there like a glove, so can your hand!
Other names for fisting include fist f*cking, pussy fisting, punch f*cking and lesbian fisting. It is so called fisting mainly because as you progress in doing this so-called forbidden sex act, your hand will fold into the shape of a fist as it passes through the vaginal passage, hence its interesting name.
However, let it be known that although fisting can be the most erotic sexual experience anyone can have, it is still not for everyone. Not all women are as roomy down there and flexible as porn stars. Thus, it will be very difficult to fist a woman who is pretty tight as this would absolutely entail pains and tears here and there.
So, for those who are not sure about the size of their “lady gardens” but are dying to give it a try, just remember that the human vagina is elastic enough to withstand parturition several times. But since fisting is supposed to be satisfying and enjoyable despite some initial pain, if it hurts badly, STOP.
How can you make fisting more enjoyable?
Here are some fisting tips that may serve as your guide. Happy fisting everyone!
#1 Set your mind. Determine whether you and your partner are both ready for this intense sex act. Talk about it before having it, and hear each other’s views about the whole fisting thing. If you don’t want to, then tell your partner that you need more time. If you are scared, let your partner know that you are. The decision must be mutual.
Key point: DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING! This one is non-negotiable!
#2 Grease the skids! Prepare yourself by learning more about fisting. There are plenty of resources available online and in print that you can use to inform yourself about the dos and don’ts of fisting. If you are a visual learner, I suggest you watch more lesbian porn or attend workshops to equip yourself with the proper way of doing it. If you are up for the challenge, raise your arm if the lecturer asks for a volunteer during demonstration!
Key point: NEVER DIVE IN UNPREPARED!
#3 Keep everything squeaky clean. If you are the giver, you should make sure that your fingernails are short and without any sharp edges, to reduce the chance of any rips or tears. Your hands must also be as clean as it can be to reduce the possibility of infection. When I say clean, it means it must be washed and free from any jewellery or hand accessories that might hurt or get stuck in the process. There’s no such thing as fashion fisting anyway. If you are the receiver, just make sure your lady parts are pristine.
Key point: THE CLEANER THE BETTER!
#4 Wear a glove. Putting on a latex glove may not be very appealing to everyone. Some find gloves, just like condoms, a total mood buster, while others simply tend to forget once everything starts to heat up. Regardless of your take on this, I’d say wearing one is the responsible approach to fisting. It acts as an added layer of protection against sexually transmitted disease plus it makes your hand smoother and slicker like jell-o, providing ease of access.
Key point: PRACTICE SAFER SEX, WEAR A COVER.
#5 Foreplay like there’s no tomorrow. Extreme arousal is necessary before one can successfully penetrate a vagina with a hand. The receiver must be very relaxed and highly aroused in order for the vaginal walls to expand and the muscles to loosen up to accommodate a fist. So, stimulate your partner in any way possible. Do whatever works to keep the recipient wet and sexually turned on. Be patient and do not rush into insertion.
Key point: GET YOUR GIRL RANDY!
#6 Use a lot of quality lube. Always lubricate, even if you think you can make her secrete enough lube on her own. Be generous in applying lube, if you think you’ve had enough, apply a little extra just to be sure. I suggest you use a water based lube or those that are specially formulated for fisting. Do not use oil based lubes. Oil based lubes and latex gloves are bad combinations as the former weakens the latex, making it futile to use one.
Key point: ALWAYS LUBE UP.
#7 Go gently and slowly. Do not attempt to plunge in your entire hand at once. Fisting is a marathon, not a sprint! Start with one or two fingers, and then slowly add another, and then another until the fourth finger is in. The giver must also feel relaxed while doing this. I repeat, go S-L-O-W-L-Y and C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y, as if you are playing pick-up-sticks in the World Cup. Fuse your fingers together to form a small stretched duck shape so your fingers are as compressed together as possible.
Ordinarily, the thumb and the knuckles are the toughest part to get past. In order to do this, the receiver must be EXTREMELY aroused. Again, lubricate! Do not be in a hurry and give her time to adjust before placing in your thumb and your palm all together. Once the receiver is comfortable with four fingers inside, tuck your thumb under your palm and slowly press on until your knuckles are inside. If you get past this point, your hand will naturally curl into a fist. Otherwise, retreat and take a short break.
It’s okay, take it easy. Once everything is inside, you can turn your wrist or move your hand up and down subtly to produce stimulating sensations. No wild f*cking and pumping! You’re not filming a porn movie! To be safe, make it a habit to ask what feels good and what doesn’t.
Key point: MOVE SENSITIVELY AT A SNAIL’S PACE!
#8 Communicate. Talk to your partner and read her body language. Watch her facial reactions and listen intently to her wishes. Most importantly, obey her commands. As the giver, your main responsibility is to look after the receiver. You can always encourage, but if your partner asks you to stop, then for heaven’s sake, STOP. If she tells you to slow down a bit, skip arguing and DO IT! Fisting is all about pleasuring your partner! It doesn’t make sense anymore if you are causing too much pain.
In line with this, I recommend that the receiver should do this only with someone who truly cares about her. NEVER do this with someone you cannot completely trust or someone who will not respect your limits.
Key point: KEEP EACH OTHER UPDATED DURING THE ACT.
#9 Keep it real and use a safe word. Of course, we’ve learned about “safe words” from Christian Grey and Ana Steel’s kinky sex slave story. And according to Grey, it is a word that makes it possible for a submissive to put a stop to the sex scene. Adopting this concept, the giver and the receiver must agree beforehand to use a specific safe word once the going gets tough!
A safe word must not be a common bedroom word like oooh, ouch, oops, geez, nooo, ahhh, or anything to that effect. You can make use of the word RED or POPSICLE and imagine that you are inside Grey’s Red Room of Pain. Seriously, you must choose a word that you don’t normally use while having sex.
Key point: DO NOT PLAY PRETEND. This is not another episode of Barney & Friends. If it hurts like hell then let your partner know.
#10 Enjoy. Although fisting is a serious sex act, you should still be able to enjoy the same. It might get a little painful, but it is definitely rewarding in the end. At best, it should be able to produce a special intimate connection between both parties, a more intimate bond filled with love and respect.
If you are doing this for the first time, chances are that you might not be able to go all the way. The thumb-and-knuckles thing might be too much for you to handle. But do not be discouraged if this isn’t your thing. Sex is amazing in itself with or without fisting.
#11 Do not forget to remove your hand. When you are done, glide your hand out gently and slowly without ripping her into shreds. Avoid any violent movements at all times. Again, talk to her and ask her if it hurts.
I would just like to reiterate that fisting is NOT for everyone. Some are simply NOT physically capable of doing so. But it’s not the end of the world, as there are a hundred more pleasures to enjoy together. One last piece of advice, if the situation gets out of hand, don’t be embarrassed to seek medical attention!
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